GINA:
Hello, and welcome to the American Cancer Society's Cancer Survivors' Network, a service created by and for cancer survivors. In Seattle, I'm your discussion leader, Gina Tuttle. Our topic, colon cancer for women under 50. On the phone with us are three colon cancer survivors from across the country, women who are all under 50 and who recently completed their treatment.

Over the next few minutes, we'll discuss such issues as: family history as an indicator for insisting on a thorough examination; ways to deal with treatment fatigue, and making daily life normal; using the Internet for information on effective treatments; adjusting to the changes in body functions; feelings surrounding being misdiagnosed until cancer reaches a more advanced stage; and how to effectively talk to your children about your cancer experience. Let's begin. Joining us today is Jeanne from Bellevue, Washington. Jeanne's 46, and she had colorectal cancer in 1998. Jeanne, you had surgery?

JEANNE:
Yes, I did. However, I first had treatment where I had five weeks of chemotherapy, 24 hours a day. I carried around a fanny pack, it was called 5FU, along with five days a week of radiation.

GINA:
Before they even did the surgery?

JEANNE:
Yes, my tumor was seven centimeters, and only an inch into the rectum. So in order to try to preserve my rectum, they needed to try to shrink the tumor, which was very successful. One thing I want to remind people, if they have radiation, it does continue working four to six weeks after treatment. I was living proof of that. Two and a half weeks after my treatment ended, my tumor was still five to six millimeters. Two-and-a-half weeks after that, or five weeks after ending treatment at surgery, it had almost disappeared.

GINA:
That's good news.

JEANNE:
Excellent news.

GINA:
You also had a resection then, using the stapling method?

JEANNE:
Correct. My tumor, like I said, was very low in the rectum. Had they not been able to use the stapling method, I would have had a permanent colostomy. But upon doing my surgery, and a quick freeze in surgery, they found that the tissue they had, while not having the full two centimeter margin that they like, was clean. So they were able to use the stapling method to put me back together.

GINA:
You are just sounding so positive about it. You're talking about how well this all worked, but at the time, it must have been a lot to go through.

JEANNE:
It was. It was very frightening. I have lost both of my parents to cancer, although not colon cancer. My mother to ovarian, my father to lung. So, it was pretty frightening at the time it was being diagnosed. And then going through all the treatments and surgery, and to have eight of ten lymph nodes involved, and to go on to have more treatment. But I successfully completed it, and am doing very well at this time.

GINA:
And you're feeling great?

JEANNE:
Yes and no. I still have quite a bit of fatigue. I have not returned to my job, as the fatigue is really...well, it's not debilitating, but it's more than I could do to go to work every day.

GINA:
What kind of work did you do?

JEANNE:
I was a receptionist.

GINA:
Does that make it hard, losing that routine? You don't go back to work because you just don't have the energy. On the other hand, it's hard not to have that job to go to, isn't it?

JEANNE:
It is, but I'm trying to find ways to cope with that, such as getting more involved with helping other people. I'm in a class right now for a Stephen Ministry Program, which is a caring ministry, just to walk side by side with people.

GINA:
I understand you have a big family. Ten sisters and brothers?

JEANNE:
Yes, I do.

GINA:
You were pretty young to be diagnosed with colon cancer. I understand you told your family to get tested themselves. What happened?

JEANNE:
My doctors at Group Health here in the Seattle area were very proactive in dealing with myself and my entire family. They told everyone they absolutely had to go have colonoscopies. Nine out of my ten siblings have done so. Three out of the nine had polyps. My eldest brother, who was just 50, had eight polyps, my brother who was 43 had six, and my sister at 37 had one. They were all successfully removed and benign. My 43-year-old brother has had a repeat colonscopy now, just one year later, and had three more polyps removed.

GINA:
Wow. So you may have saved some lives here.

JEANNE:
I tell everybody that's my claim to fame now. I've saved their lives!

GINA:
I'm going to bring somebody else into our conversation right now. This is Arlene from Socrates, New York. Arlene, hello.

ARLENE:
Hi, how are you doing?

GINA:
Great. And you?

ARLENE:
I'm doing terrific today.

GINA:
I'm glad to hear that. Sometimes it's day to day, isn't it?

ARLENE:
Oh yes. Most days are good though. When you're alive, it's good.

GINA:
Arlene, you're 47, and you were treated for colon cancer in 1996.

ARLENE:
Yes, I was having fatigue for at least a good six to seven years, if not longer. I was complaining to doctors about it. I had had blood on a toilet tissue years before in that same time frame, and was told it was hemorrhoids. I wasn't checked or anything. I was never told to go for a colonoscopy because I was young.

GINA:
And so how far advanced was it when they finally decided?

ARLENE:
I was Stage T3. I had broken through the rectum wall, and they thought possibly three lymph nodes, and it was eight centimeters.

GINA:
Eight centimeters. So you underwent surgery.

ARLENE:
Yes, I had a coloanal anastomosis which was stable. The ovaries were removed, the rectum was removed, and they pulled down my colon at Memorial Sloan-Kettering, and created what they call a J-pouch.

GINA:
Explain what that is.

ARLENE:
They pull your colon down and recreate a rectum for you. Then they cut through it to open it up, and then reattach the resection.

GINA:
And is it successful?

ARLENE:
It was successful for me.

GINA:
These things never seem to happen in isolation. Life goes on. I understand that part of the time you were dealing with your parents' illnesses.

ARLENE:
Prior to my being diagnosed, six years before, I had lost my mother to bladder cancer. A year and a half after that, my father-who had asbestosis, that's cancer that's metastasized to the lungs, and also had emphysema-he developed pneumonia. He also had prostate cancer and had gone through radiation and seemed to have beat that, but once he got the pneumonia, and Mother had died, I guess he just couldn't fight. It took about eight months. So between my mother for a year and a half, and my father for eight months, I was running to hospitals constantly. The doctors thought my fatigue was from that.

GINA:
I understand why they might think that. You went a long time without getting the right diagnosis.

ARLENE:
Well, I was anemic at one point and had dropped weight down to about 100 pounds, dripping wet. The most I ever weighed at that time was 115. So for me to drop to 100 was quite a drop for me.

GINA:
What would you have liked the doctors to do differently, early on?

ARLENE:
Well, not tell me to go to a psychiatrist, and give me their names and phone numbers.

GINA:
Okay.

ARLENE:
You know, maybe run some more extensive tests. I've had a spastic colon since I was eighteen, which everyone knew about. They could have thought of some kind of test. I had done the blood in the stool test twice, and that came back negative.

GINA:
How would you act differently with the doctors if you had it to do over again? Would you have insisted on more tests?

ARLENE:
I don't know if I would have at that point. My aunt was diagnosed, not with cancer but with polyps, over 12 years ago. Every three years she had a colonoscopy, and she was never told to tell family members when they kept finding polyps. Every three years she goes, every three years they find three or four polyps. And she was never told to tell family members. Had she been told that, then I would have insisted on getting a colonosopy.

GINA:
I suppose, like Jeanne, you've made it a point to tell anybody who's related to you about what's going on.

ARLENE:
I had my brother go, who fought me tooth and nail, and they found a polyp. I had my husband go, and they found seven polyps, one quite large. Thank God he's okay. He's going the end of this year again for his second colonoscopy. I've got one sister who is to go. I also have an aunt who is in her 70s, who was just diagnosed recently with colon cancer and had surgery.

GINA:
I want to talk with you more. Let me jump back, though, and ask Jeanne a question. Jeanne, you said you had ten siblings and one of them has not gone in to be tested yet. Why is that?

JEANNE:
I really can't tell you why he hasn't other than procrastination. There were some family dynamics going on, where he was transferred with his job and was alone for a period of time. He moved to a new city and had a new baby. But that's been six months now, and about two months ago he promised me he would, and he hasn't yet. He did have one scheduled a year ago when they were in California, but they happened to take their vacation and were up here at the time it was scheduled, so he had to cancel that.

ARLENE:
I'd like to add that I'm an advocate of colonoscopy. I have had my boss and one of the managers go. I tell everybody. And I stay on them about it. I'm not one of those saying, "Wait until 50." You'll be dead by 50 if you don't have a colonoscopy, and you have polyps. It's very possible.

JEANNE:
I tell people the same, and I say, "Don't go for a sigmoidoscopy." My brother, who was 43, didn't press for the colonoscopy at first, and I don't know why. He had a sigmoidoscopy where they found two polyps, and then they had to go in and do the colonoscopy where they found four more.

GINA:
I'd like to ask you both, but Arlene, you first. What is it that you say to people to convince them they need to get the test? And maybe, as in the case of Jeanne's brother who wants to say, "No, it's something I can do next month," how do you convince them to do it fairly soon? I know other people are going to be in the same position, and wonder how to get the people they care about to test themselves.

ARLENE:
I would say that you tell them they have a choice. They can go and get a colonoscopy and possibly have polyps and, if they have them, have them removed. Or they can go into a major surgery, chemotherapy, radiation, and have their whole life disrupted. Or possibly death. You have a choice where you can live with this simple test. And they put you to sleep, you're not even alert that much to what's going on. You're in, you're out, and you're home. It's a day off from work.

GINA:
That's a good point. You'll hardly notice it and it's a day off work. Okay.

GINA:
Arlene, one thing that you also felt-once you got the diagnosis and you felt good about the treatment that you got at that point-you still felt that you didn't get enough advice on what to expect about living with this day to day. Is that right?

ARLENE:
Yes. I had major complications from radiation. I had radiation enteritis in the small bowel right after each radiation treatment. And I wound up in the hospital with extreme dehydration, twice, near death. Then I wound up, after the surgery, with bladder cystitis. My bladder stopped functioning for eight months or so. I was told I would never urinate again. I do urinate. I had to learn how to self-catheterize. I had to re-potty-train myself for my bowels. Then I was also bound up with a small bowel obstruction from radiation damage. My first surgery was March 31, April 1. September 10th, I wound up in the emergency room. I was going through six months of chemo afterwards, once a week, after my colon resection. I went to the hospital for emergency surgery to save my life. I had small bowel blockage, and they had to take about a foot, including the distal ileum and the secum. So now I also have short bowel syndrome. A lot of people don't know, but I've read that people who have their uterus and bladder are at high risk for cancer from radiation.

GINA:
I understand you got a lot of information from the Internet.

ARLENE:
That's how I found a diet to work with.

GINA:
How did you go about finding the right information on the Internet?

ARLENE:
I just looked. I wasn't very computer-literate. My aunt had given me her computer to use. I didn't even have my own. I just sat there and started. I put in a day pouch, because that's what I had. I started putting in diets. I started putting notes on there for anyone to read, about colon cancer.

GINA:
Did you find any particularly good sites that you would recommend?

ARLENE:
I'd say every one of them is good. The MedConsult was good. I pulled up PubMed. My surgeon is in there, and all the different surgeries. I just read up on everything and anything. The Colon Cancer Alliance. I found that. Short Bowel Syndrome, they have their own site. Day Pouch has their own site, and that's usually with the small bowel, you know, if you have colitis and things like that. I was able to get help through there, and to meet other people. My surgeon also introduced me to somebody, through the Internet, that he had done surgery with. We became friends, and we met and everything.

GINA:
Are you still a part of chats, or discussion groups, or lists?

ARLENE:
Discussion groups and some lists.

GINA:
That's great. Does it continue to help?

ARLENE:
Yes, it does. I also started something locally up here in my area, because everything is geared toward breast cancer. If you go to a lot of the cancer support groups, they're breast cancer. All their functions are for breast cancer. I can't go to a lot of the functions that they do because of my bowel problem. They started a new buddy system where somebody can learn how to work with people with breast cancer. I called them and said, "Well, what about colon cancer? Could I be trained to work with other people locally?" They said no because they don't have any funding. I got very upset, and I raised Cain at the local hospital with the cancer survivors' group. Now I'm in the newspaper, the publication they put out, as a buddy and a contact for colorectal cancer. And other people have gotten their names in there for different cancers now.

GINA:
Arlene, if I were ill, I would like to have you come in and advocate for me with my doctor and the hospital and everybody else.

ARLENE:
Oh, please. I've also learned how to fight the billing system. The medical bills. I had my bills audited four times! By my insurance companies, for corrections and errors. They sent letters to doctors, because you get financially strapped when you go through cancer.

GINA:
Is there anything that you would suggest to other patients who might be going through some of the same things that you have been? Where they could go from here?

ARLENE:
Avoid the negative in your life.

GINA:
Jeanne, how about you? Do you have any advice for a woman who might be in this kind of situation?

JEANNE:
Again, avoid the negative. Surround yourself with positive people and do what makes you feel good. You have to take care of yourself. Nobody else can do it for you.

GINA:
Good advice.

GINA:
I'd like to bring into our conversation our other cancer survivor. This is Julie from Champaign, Illinois. Julie is 32, she was treated for colon cancer is 1998, she's married, and she has an 8-year-old daughter. Julie, I understand you were treated with surgery. And you had a liver resection?

JULIE:
I went in for surgery for what my doctor thought was an ovarian cyst. The cancer was a total surprise to everybody, myself and my doctor included. My husband and I had just recently gotten married. We had decided to have a child, and we got pregnant. There were some complications, and it ended up with what my doctor thought was an ovarian cyst. My OB/GYN doctor watched it for a month, decided that it required surgery, went in to do surgery, opened me up and, "Oh, my gosh!" It wasn't an ovarian cyst at all. It was actually colon cancer that had broken through my colon and had caused a grapefruit sized tumor on my left ovary. It had also infected my liver.

GINA:
Julie, did you say you were pregnant at the time you were diagnosed?

JULIE:
I was. Well, I wasn't still pregnant. I had miscarried and they did a D and C. That's why they had gone in to do surgery.

GINA:
You went through a lot emotionally, not just the disease, but the miscarriage too.

JULIE:
And add to that, I also got hepatitis A, and my husband was in the Navy on deployment. It was not a good time.

GINA:
And at the same time, you have a little girl, is that right?

JULIE:
Yes I do. She was seven years old at the time and, actually, I have to tell you we handled it very, very badly. She knew that I was going into the hospital the first time for what we thought was an ovarian cyst. To me, the easiest way to explain a cyst to her was to describe it like a blister. So we called it a blister, and I was going in the hospital, and they were going to take this blister out. Everything would be fine. I went in the hospital and it turns out everything wasn't fine. I had six weeks between my first surgery and my second surgery. I went in the hospital for the first surgery, they found everything and then we were scheduled for the second surgery. After my second surgery, it was a lot more difficult. My second surgery was when they resected my liver. The scar, the healing, the whole process was much harder on my body, not to mention that I had had another surgery just six weeks prior to that. So I was tender to the touch, sleeping a lot, and pretty much, she was afraid to touch me, she was afraid to hug me, she was afraid to even be at home. Because we weren't really telling her what was going on.

We were still grappling with how to deal with it ourselves, my husband and I. She was at the babysitter who lived across the street from our house. It got the point where my babysitter actually came and said, "She doesn't want to come home." That was when we realized we were not doing a good job with this. We needed to sit down with her and explain to her in the simplest terms, and in words that we could handle. I mean, we couldn't handle saying to ourselves, "This is cancer," at that point. So we were just calling it "the thing." So we explained it to her. We kept the blister theory going, and explained that when they went in they had found other blisters, and they had to remove them. We went in the second time and took out most of the rest of the blisters. We really kept the blister theory going until just March of this year.

GINA:
At that point, what did you do?

JULIE:
At that point Champaign was having the Relay for Life. I got involved with that, and I asked my daughter if she'd like to go. The Relay for Life was basically a 24-hour-I think they only did 12 hours here-a 12-hour walk around a track. We had luminaries that we lit for family members.

I need at this point to back up a second, and say that my husband's aunt had breast cancer, and passed away in January of this year. That was another reason that we were really hesitant to tell my daughter very much. Because she knew that Aunt Paula had cancer, she used the word cancer, and she would not be able to differentiate between breast cancer, colon cancer, stages of cancer, those kinds of things. It would be too difficult. So we really didn't use the word cancer at all.

When I went to the Walks of Life or the Relay for Life, she met a lot of people who had cancer. We were talking, and that was when I introduced her to people that I know that had cancer. She had friends who had parents there. So her friends were there and it sort of dawned on her that there are different types of cancer. Cancer isn't what happened to Aunt Paula. It's what's happening to me, you know, I'm going for treatment, but I'm still Mom.

GINA:
What would you recommend at this point, after having gone through all that, to other parents who are trying to decide how much to tell their kids? How much can kids handle at these ages?

JULIE:
I think it depends a lot on the individual child. I think my daughter could have handled a lot more than we told her, but we couldn't handle telling her. I think that was a big part of it. My poor husband...we went in for what we thought was a very simple operation, and this man then had to tell my mother, among all the other people, my mother and my father that their only daughter had cancer. He had been through hell just by being the caregiver and my support. Having to try to explain it to a seven-year-old was just too much. That was over the limit of what we could handle. So I can't say the best way to do it. I can say that, when you realize that it's a problem, it's important to identify that it is and make some conversation.

GINA:
I think you had an interesting story about what happened when your daughter was diagnosed with the flu. That helped put it into perspective?

JULIE:
She had pneumonia, actually. She had a "touch of pneumonia." That's exactly what the doctor said. We had gotten to talking, because at seven, any disease is a disease. She thinks AIDS and cancer are the same thing, because they're all over the news. We were talking about her having a touch of pneumonia, and she said, "It's just like you." I said something to the effect of, "What do you mean?" And she said, "Well, Aunt Paula, she had cancer, and that was really bad, and she died from that. But you just have a touch of cancer. You're still moving around very, very well." Something to that effect. So that makes me feel good.

I've tried really hard to keep my life normal. I still work every day, I still go to softball practice, I still do all of the things I used to do. And, with a little pump on my side, it's a whole lot easier than when I was getting other kinds of treatment that were making me sick. So to me, life is normal, and I want her to think that life is normal, also. Even though I've got a pump on my side, I'm still just Mom.

GINA:
Did you seek out any advice during this? Any resources that other parents might be able to use?

JULIE:
I read a couple of booklets. There's one book that's called "When a Parent Has Cancer." I read that book, and it actually came with a little book in the back that you could share with a child. It was written for children. But we opted not to do that, because it addressed the issue of dying. We pretty much just opted not to do that. Because, in my husband's opinion, he's not willing to even face that it is an option. And I don't see any reason to, because it's not an option regardless of whether you have cancer or you're walking down the street.

One thing that did help me was just having a real open relationship with my daughter. I've always been very close with her. I go and talk to her at night before she goes to bed, and that helped a lot. I think one of the biggest problems came in that we lost a little bit of that when I wasn't doing that every night. When I didn't have the energy to go upstairs and climb in bed with her, because I had just gotten done with surgery.

GINA:
Julie, you're talking about realizing that cancer could end in death, but that's not an option for you. You don't want to think about it. You didn't want to think about it early on. Would there come a point that you'd have to bring that up with your daughter?

JULIE:
I've thought about it a lot. When I say it's not an option, I've taken care of every detail that I need to care of as far as, "What happens if..." Because right now, as I said, I'm perfectly healthy. Aside from that little cancer thing, I feel great. I've taken care of all the little things that I need to take care of. I've made sure everything is in order as far as life insurance and wills and all of that.

At first, that was the only thing I thought about. For the first six months, that was the only thing that I could focus on because, oh my gosh, I am very computer-literate. My whole life is focused around computers. I know the Internet very well. The first thing that I did, and I have to tell you, my husband actually forbid me to go on the computer for the first two months, because he knew that I would do exactly what I did. Which is go and read all of the statistics. And that just wipes me out for awhile because, knowing I have Stage 4 colon cancer, knowing the statistics of what Stage 4 colon cancer can do, that can bring you down. But then I realized that statistics are statistics, and I can beat the odds.

Once I got everything in order, once I realized I had taken care of everything I could take care of, there was no reason to worry about it any longer. I still feel good, I'm still alive now. I'm not going to worry about what's going to happen in the future. If something does happen, I've told my doctor, "You tell me when I need to start worrying about talking to my daughter." Because he has a better gauge...We have a very open relationship, but he has a better gauge of my health than I do.

GINA:
You found a lot of statistics on the Internet, Julie. Did you also find some support somewhere else?

JULIE:
I found support on the Internet. I travel a lot for my job, and I've never been the kind of person who was comfortable going to a support group. So, until about July of this year, I just sort of muddled through and handled it on my own. In July of this year, I came across the ACOR Colon Cancer list serve. That to me was a godsend, because that was like a support group online. Now I see what other people are going through, I see what other people are doing, and through that I joined the Colon Cancer Alliance organization.

I started helping them with media relations and educating people about colon cancer. I've got my soapbox now that I carry around. That, to me, has been the best thing that has happened, because now I don't feel that I'm just muddling through. I feel like I'm actually doing something productive that is related to my disease, but it's not something that's going to bring me down. I'm using the skills that I've learned in my life, my communication skills, to help further an organization that I'm getting in on at the ground floor. It's a grassroots organization starting from scratch, and I have a part in that. And that's something that's helped me get through this a lot better. I'm an activist kind of person so it's given me something to do.

GINA:
It sounds like this might be very helpful for a lot of people. What's the URL?

JULIE:
The Colon Cancer Alliance is www.ccalliance.org.

GINA:
I'd like to bring Jeanne back into our conversation. Jeanne, we've been talking with Julie about dealing with a young child and what to discuss with children. Your children are young adults now, early 20s. How did you talk with them about cancer?

JEANNE:
We were very open and honest with both of them. Just five years prior to that, my mother had been in our home for the last nine weeks of her life. For 12 years, she fought ovarian cancer, so they had grown up with cancer. We were open when I had polyps that needed to be checked, and then when we found out it was cancer, we told them that. We told them what I was going to go through. I never told them the statistics because, like Julie, I can beat those. My daughter was at the hospital the night the surgeon came in to talk to me. He asked if I wanted the other people to leave the room, and I said, "No!" They needed to hear whatever I was going to hear. What he did tell us was it was Stage 3. My husband, my daughter, and one of my sisters were there and they all started to cry. I looked at them and I said, "Hey! Those are only numbers. I can beat it." And I said, "Look at how Mom did." For 12 years my mother was fighting, eight years in remission. I said, "I can do better." I was always open and honest with them.

GINA:
How about your relationship with your husband? Has it been a strain? Has it brought you closer? How do you work through this together?

JEANNE:
Actually, I think we were always very open and close, and I really think this has made us even closer. My husband was always very quiet. In the beginning it was like, "You'll be fine, you don't have anything to worry about." And I needed to talk, and cry at times about things, and now, he is just absolutely wonderful about talking about it. It took him a long time. He never admitted to me until a year after I had been diagnosed that he thought I was going to die. He knew at that point I wasn't going to, but once he could tell me that, I think it really helped him be able to be more open and listen to me.

GINA:
Julie, it sounds like your husband is very protective, and tries to help you. What's it done to your relationship having this to deal with?

JULIE:
The funny thing is my husband and I had only been married about eight months when I was diagnosed. So we were very newly married. We'd known each other for four years, but we were very newly married. He was in the Navy at the time and his ship was out to sea. But he was temporarily stationed with another area who said, basically, "You've got a lot at home to take care of, so go home, and don't come to work." We were very fortunate in that the entire three months that I was out of work going through this, my husband was next to me every minute of every day. I never had to worry about anything as far as what was being taken care of, what was happening, because he was there every minute of every day. And that really brought us very close.

GINA:
You've been very active in helping other people who have been dealing with colon cancer. I'm wondering, Julie, if you're finding that there should be some kind of support, that there needs to be some extra help for people who are married to someone with cancer. Would it help your husband to talk to somebody, or be involved in a support group for spouses?

JULIE:
Definitely. Definitely. I think it helps. I have to say that it helped me a thousand percent. I think it would help my husband to know that he's not the only husband of a woman who got colon cancer. There are a lot of women out here who have colon cancer, and it's just a very difficult thing to deal with from the spouse's side. And like I said, in my opinion, he had the tougher job than I did. All I had to do was lay there and get poked and cut and all those other things. He had to actually face the reality of it. I was on drugs for three months, pretty much. They kept me pretty sedated. He had to actually face the reality of, every day, telling people. I had probably gone through four months after I was diagnosed before I actually had to tell a person. He made sure that I never had to say the words, and I think that's a much tougher job than being a patient.

GINA:
Arlene, you had some incredible support, I understand, from people you worked with. I've heard people who've gone through cancer say they really found out who their friends were at that time. Tell me a little bit about that, what it did with your relationships?

ARLENE:
I was very, very fortunate. My husband has children from a previous marriage, who are grown. He's a grandfather several times. We told his children, and they were just so supportive. Right after I was diagnosed, my husband fell apart in the doctor's office. I just went to the phone and said, "I have calls to make." Because I knew from my parents, I wasn't just going to sit still and fall apart. I just started making phone calls. I went right to the office to work. I told my boss, and he also broke down at that point. His mother is a cancer survivor, of ovarian cancer. I believe it is ten years or so. I just looked at him and I said, "I'm going to live." I just told everybody that. No ifs, ands, or buts. I just started making phone calls, making doctors' appointments. When I go through a stressful situation, I always go into automatic. I'm at my best. Give me a crisis and I will function. It's after the crisis, you know, that I let myself rest. So I haven't rested yet, I want to give it a few more years.

GINA:
Arlene, you said that your husband fell apart at the doctor's office. Talk about what happened then.

ARLENE:
He just broke down and started crying, and I told the doctor, "Please take him inside and talk to him."

GINA:
And what did you do?

ARLENE:
I just went to a phone. I wanted to call Memorial Sloan-Kettering. I wanted to call doctors. I wanted to find out what I had to do, where I had to go. I wanted life to go on. I wanted to function and get moving. I did not want to sit and cry.

GINA:
How about your friends? What did you tell them?

ARLENE:
I just simply told them I had cancer. I think I told 99% of the people that I had cancer.

GINA:
How did they react?

ARLENE:
Mostly dumbfounded, or they cried. I just told them all, "I'm going to live. I'm going to survive. And if you can't handle what I'm going to go through, I don't need you in my life." I was very up front with people. I think out of everybody I knew, only one person couldn't handle it. Because they were afraid I was going to die. And I told them a year later, I said "Well, stupid, you didn't listen to me, did you? I told you I was going to live."

GINA:
Arlene, we're about out of time, but I want to ask you, and also Julie and Jeanne, about your last thoughts here for women who are going through the same thing. Before we go, I want to find out what you would tell a woman who is going through the same things you've been going through.

ARLENE:
I would just tell them, cancer is not a death sentence. You can survive. Don't settle for one doctor, or for one surgeon. Go get a second opinion if you have to. There's treatment out there. You have to look for it and find it. And get comfortable with your doctors.

GINA:
Thank you. Jeanne, what's your advice? What would you tell a woman going through what you're going through?

JEANNE:
Don't ever give up hope, and fight it all the way.

GINA:
Julie, any thoughts for a woman in this situation?

JULIE:
I think that we've said it all. I think that it's really important to have a good attitude. I've read studies that say your attitude is 90 percent of your healing, or at least 10 percent of your healing, and I choose to think it's 90 percent. So if your attitude is that you're going to survive, you're not going to let it be the evil that gets you, then it's not going to be.

GINA:
It's been a real privilege to meet each of you. Thank you so much for sharing your personal experiences. I know it's going to be a major benefit to the women who call up and try to find out more for themselves. Thank you. And for the American Cancer Society's Cancer Survivors' Network, from our HealthTalk Interactive Studio in Seattle, I'm Gina Tuttle.