Sharon's Story: breast cancer

Listen With ( 20 minutes 31 seconds )

Sharon Wilkins: a ten-year survivor

My name is Sharon and I live in Arizona and I'm an early childhood educator of thirty years, and I'm a cancer survivor of ten years. So I'm just thrilled to think that I've made it to ten years, and I want to share my story with other people who are being diagnosed, perhaps with breast cancer, like I was, to give you hope. And to be an encourager and not to be frozen in fear, so I want to share a little bit.

The initial discovery

Ten years ago I was 47, I've always been extremely healthy, and our two daughters, Jen, was 13 at the time, and Mel was 10. One day I was out walking, my husband and I, and the only way I can describe it is that when we were walking, I felt kind of like, I know it sounds strange, but I felt like a heat sensation in my left breast, and I said to my husband, Gosh, that's kind of strange, it feels kind of warm right there. And he said, well maybe it's just hormonal, and I was an early menopausal woman, at about 44 or 45, and so I thought well, possibly. And we were walking the next day and I had the same heat sensation in the same spot. And we talked about it briefly and I thought, gosh, it's strange, though, I've never really felt that before and especially two consecutive days so I wasn't really due for a mammogram for six or seven months and this was like in June. But I thought, I'm not gonna take any chances. And you know at the time I didn't think well what caused that, was that God leading me in some way or but I just felt that for some reason I needed to be aggressive and maybe go early for my mammogram, and that's exactly what I did. I didn't dismiss it for whatever reason at the time and I'm so thankful I did go down. I had a mammogram and then as a family we went to San Diego for a week and had just a wonderful time in a great city, of course.

An alarming diagnosis

So when I got back, shortly after the day we returned, my family and I we were in the kitchen for dinner and early dinner and the phone rang and it was a nurse from the doctor's office. She had read the mammogram and she said to me, Have you seen a surgeon yet? Do you know a surgeon? You have got to go immediately and get this taken care of, it's very alarming the mammogram x-ray and it was like I was just kind of frozen in the kitchen and I'm sure that my blood drained. I mean my face must have been white and my mouth wide open, and my family's looking at me, listening to me say, What? My mammogram? And I remember thinking to myself, I wish maybe the doctor or the nurse who called me would have said, Why don't you come on in and we'll talk and we'll suggest maybe some future procedures that you might want to do, because the way they did it, it was very alarming to me. So I called my gynecologist for a recommendation for a surgeon to go to and got my x-rays and I remember my husband and I walking to visit with the surgeon and just the sense of like all of a sudden my world was in an upside down way, and the fear and the thought that I might have cancer, and it was just very, just very scary for me. But when we went and saw the surgeon and we sat down and he looked at my x-rays, he said, now Sharon, don't worry about this. It's a 97% chance it's not cancer, it's probably just a calcium kind of deposit. So I drove home, thinking, This is fantastic, but he did recommend I go through and have the biopsy of course. But I thought, gosh, 97% chance, those are great odds.

Against the odds

So a few days later I went in for my biopsy, which was not a very easy thing to do for me, and they had wires coming out of my breast and they were trying to put a fluid, an ink in or whatever, and that was not real pleasant, but I mean I was able to get through it. I don't think they gave us anything to ease it at all. But I remember being in the operation when they were doing the biopsy and I remember looking at the eyes of those that were attending to me. And I thought at the time when they were doing the biopsy that I just had a strange feeling. But I didn't know and of course 97% chance, I'm thinking, I don't have breast cancer. So I went home and a couple of days later, my husband had taken a new position with another company and he had to fly out on a business trip, and I recommended that he go because I wasn't really that afraid or concerned, and he was gonna be gone for a few days, and I then went by myself. I had people say, Oh, you want me to go with you? And I said, Oh, no, that's fine, I'll go see the doctor and get the results and I was just so healthy, I mean, I just never thought that I would have breast cancer.

So I went to the surgeon, in to his office and I sat down and looked at him and I said, well, did I need to bring a box of Kleenex? And he looked at me over his glasses, and he said, Yes, you did. And I just could not believe what he had said. And I said, I have cancer? And he said, Yes, you do, you have breast cancer intraductal.

Coping with the news

Then I remember sitting there looking at him and it was like, his lips were moving and I could hear he was speaking, but I really didn't hear and understand what he was saying. I was in shock and I just couldn't believe that I was diagnosed with that. So he proceeded to talk and I said, You know, doctor, I know you're telling me very important information, but I am not you know understanding right now and I'm confused and I'm afraid, and I don't know quite what to do but I'm not able to take in what you're telling me right now. And just then the phone rang and my husband called from Tacoma and he said, I'm glad you called, and he proceeded to tell my husband exactly what he had found and I dried my tears and talked with him on the phone and he said he was gonna try to get home when he could. So I drove home and stopped at my Mom's house, of course, and her arms were wonderful, but she was quite sick herself, and I don't think she quite comprehended that her daughter, her baby, her baby of 47 years, had breast cancer. I called a couple of my Christian dear friends, and they came over right away. I remember sitting in the family room and we were talking and I said, Oh, my gosh, my heart's beating so fast I'm gonna have to take one of my heart pills beause I had mitral valve prolapse and I said I just can't believe this is happening. They were there for me and we had prayer time together and I went to bed later that night. I didn't tell our girls yet, I kind of wanted to wait for my husband to come home.

Remembering God

That night, I just couldn't get to sleep, of course, and my husband crawled into bed about one in the morning. He had flown home immediately. We went outside and sat on our patio and put our feet in the pool and just kind of sat on the side and looked at the moon. He held me, and I remember him saying, "We're gonna get through this, Sharon, we're gonna make it through this. We are not alone, God is always with us, he's the greatest physician." I said, I know, and then I would cry, and I would stop crying and dry my tears and then I'd cry again.

Treatment

From the biopsy, I needed to make a decision of how to treat that, so I went to two surgeons. I went to one surgeon and he recommended that I have a mastectomy and I went to another surgeon and he recommended that as well. And that was like ten years ago, so I'm sure maybe they have new research out as to what is the most effective. But I did make an appointment and I had my surgeon set it up for a mastectomy. And for the days leading up to that, which was about a week, I remember feeling so consumed by fear, that I would almost get sick in my stomach, and I would almost be frozen with fear, that I just could not get through the daily things of life.

Find your rock

When we told our girls, they just, I mean, they couldn't believe it. And when I told them what was gonna happen to me, Jen who was 13 at the time, said, "Oh, Mom, you can't have that happen to you. And Oh, they'll cut your breast off." Course, she's 13, and I said, but honey, once I do that, my cancer is gone, and I can live. So there was a lot of talking and tears and sharing, but we've always felt as a family that we can face anything together, and it's very important to be honest and to share openly what we are facing and let our children see our fears and let our children see our faith and our weakest moments and our triumphs. So we told the girls right from the beginning. But one day, the day before my surgery, I needed to go to the grocery store, of course and set up my kitchen for my children and my husband while I was gone, and buy the necessary groceries. I remember I couldn't even hardly put things on a shopping list. So I went outside and I was walking in our back yard and looking up at the clouds and feeling so afraid of what my future was going to be, and wondering if I needed to write my will, and would I be able to curl our daughters' hair, and help them pick out a prom dress when they get older, you know, would I be around? Well, I knelt down, and I picked up a rock and I held that rock in my hand and I thought about the scripture, That He is our rock, and as I held that rock, I realized how strong that rock was, how firm that rock was, and that he's always there. And you know, I carried that rock with me wherever I went. I carried it in my pocket, I carried it in my purse, and whenever I was afraid, I would grab hold of that rock, and I would remember, that God is always with us. And I share that with you, because I have given many rocks to people, many of my friends have breast cancer, and that's the first thing I give them.

An encouraging example

Well. I went to the store, and I just had to tell you. I ran into a friend. A teacher friend I hadn't seen in ten years. And she said to me, How are you, Sharon? Gosh it's good to see you. When she said, How are you, my response was, Do you really want to know? It kind of took her aback and she said, yeah. I said, well, I've been diagnosed with breast cancer. And she said, Oh, no. I said, in fact, I have surgery tomorrow. And then she said to me: Sharon, do you remember that wonderful friend of ours that taught with us years ago, and her name was Igbert, and I said, Oh, I just loved her. What a great gal. Where is she? And she said to me, Bert had a double mastectomy eight years ago, and she's just as feisty as ever! And my friend wrapped her arms around me and I thought, Oh, thank you for sharing that with me. Because when you hear that someone else has survived this, I mean, it's such a triumph to hear. And what an encouraging experience that was for me. But that wasn't the end of my grocery shopping. Because I was going to check out. My basket was much fuller after she told me that Bert was as feisty as ever after eight years, and I was able to get my shopping done. So anyway, I'm going near the checkout lane and they're all busy, about eight lanes, as busy as ever and I see my friend again, so I said, well, I'll go right behind her and we can chat some more. Well, while we're talking, my eyes look beyond my friend and I see a woman standing paying for her groceries. And I looked at her and then she looked at me, and she said, Sharon? And I said Bert? I haven't seen you in twenty years! And she said, Come over here. And she wrapped her arms around me and it was like, all my fear just kind of melted to the floor. And we both had tears in her eyes, because evidently my friend had been telling Bert earlier about me in the store. And I said to Bert, How often do you shop here? And she said, Sharon, I shop here every week. And I said, Well, so do I. I've never seen you. And so isn't that something, that the day before my surgery, that I meet two old friends, one of ten years, one of twenty, that give me the encouraging words I need to face my tomorrow. So that was just such a blessing to me.

Remember the positive

But I went and had my surgery and when I came home the following day, there were some church people that came to visit And you know, we all say things we don't mean to say, but I'll never forget, one of the older women in my church came to see me, and I know she didn't mean it, but she says to me, Oh, Sharon. You had breast cancer, honey? I have a great friend who six years had breast cancer, and you know what, then she got lung cancer, and she's dead. She died. Now, we're sitting there, right after I had my mastectomy, and my husband and I, all we want to know is the positive, and feed our thoughts and our bodies full of good things, and my husband says, You know, it was so nice of you to come and visit, but Sharon's really tired, and she needs to get her, you know, her energy back, because he didn't want me to sit there any more, just in case somebody else would say something in a negative way, because you really want to focus on the positive and you want to surround yourself with positive people that care. And hopefully people that kind of watch some of the things they share in their life with you, because that's an important time to you, I mean, you're still struggling with fear. Even as much as I held on to my rock, and then I would gain strength when I looked towards God, I still fought fear.

Be aggressive about your health

So if you by chance are being diagnosed with breast cancer, I recommend that you find a rock. I went back and when the doctor said to me, "You might want to have the other breast removed just as a precaution, because it was really a miracle that your breast cancer was detected so early". I would recommend to those of you that are diagnosed with that, or even if you have an inkling like I did, go and be aggressive about your health. Because I didn't have to have my chemo, I listened to my body, I sought out you know, the mammogram, and I found the best doctors. I would get two different opinions, not just one opinion, and the second time I had my breast removed was probably a month later after the first one was removed, cause I've got a lot of living to do. So that was my choice. It did not have cancer, but, I want to be a mom, I want to be a wife, right now I'm an author of a book and I'm still teaching, and I love life, and I didn't need my breasts to be happy. I didn't need my breasts to live. It's who we are, our inner self, that is so important, not how we look on the outside. I wasn't gonna have an implant after my first breast was removed, but when I went and had my second one removed, I did have the saline solution, where they extend your skin and they put in the solution, a little bit every two three weeks, or whatever. And I've been very happy with that, I'm glad I made that decision, but had I just had the one breast removed, I probably wouldn't have done anything. Because that's what I was going to do in the beginning.

Finding my roots in God

I just want to share with you, that even though this was a very, very difficult road in my life, I experienced fear for the first time and I uncovered my deepest spiritual roots. And for that, I am most grateful, and God was very personal in my life and I have a stronger connection between He (sic) and myself and I know in my heart that God loves every one of us far more than we even realize. Because the day I walked out of that grocery store and I looked up at the heavens, I just had such a peace, knowing that I was loved, that I can face tomorrow, and I guess when our lives are all said and done, that's the one thing that matters in life. Are we one of his?

A valuable journey

So, I guess my recommendation would be to be aggressive about your own health. Seek out the best doctors you can, grab hold of a rock and go down this journey and you will come out a deeper spiritual person I'm sure. And you will love life more. And you will notice the birds singing more often, the color of the new green leaves on a tree in the spring, and you will delight more often in your children if you have them, and with your husband. So, I guess I would raise my hand again if had an opportunity again to travel this road in life, I would raise my hand and travel it. Because I am a different person today because I was diagnosed one day, one scary, scary day ten years ago, with breast cancer.