Lee: Life throws a curveball My name is Lee and I'm 53 years old. I live in Seattle, Washington and I've been married for 31 years this year. Two children, one nine and one twenty. What happened to me was in an interview for an executive level position in 1995 I was preparing to move on to the next level in my career which would have been Chief Executive Officer of a program in Seattle. In the process of being interviewed, I got sick. Couldn't respond to the questions, immediately left and went to a hospital for diagnosis, because I knew I wasn't well, and after the diagnosis I was told that I had something called adenocarcinoma, which I didn't know anything about, which later I learned a whole lot about and the diagnosis suggested that I did have a cancerous tumor, a softball-sized tumor in my stomach, and was scheduled for surgery a day after they diagnosed me. So I was pretty severe. And what happened next was, obviously I was in shock, and the way I got the story was not from the doctor, it was from the nurse who told me I had been diagnosed with cancer, so with my wife present, it was pretty shocking for both of us. Setting priorities So the summer of 95 was a summer of anticipation and fear. What did I do? Well, what I did was I sat down and I looked at my world, and after getting through the anger phase and the shock phase and the Why Me? Phase, I decided to go and do what I had to do and face what those alternatives you really do come to reality in a reasonable amount of time, and you start doing what's most important. So I essentially pared down my world, focused on truly the most important thing, which was my family, being involved with the family of course and the finances and of course my health and spiritual peace. But I also prepared myself by the end of summer of 95 to be here on their own and to leave my choices, actually 50-50, this is what the doctor had told me, I had a 50-50 chance of survival. So knowing those things I got my finances in order, essentially got my houses in order, and put an investment portfolio together to secure my family to have a meaningful life after I was gone, if I was gone. And even if I didn't go, my finances would have been a little better than they were prior to surgery, and so forth. In the ensuing years, I've been following up with annual endoscopies to determine whether or not there was a recurrence of the cancer, but the issues precluding that was the insurance companies. Because they seem to believe that my mental state is the reason I'm not working, not my health. The doctors won't allow me to go back to work, and I've since been declared disabled by Social Security and from what I understand being disabled, that's the end of the road. So essentially I have had to, by destiny, reshape my life, and it hasn't worked out too poorly so far. I've been able to spend a lot of time with my child, children actually, and my wife and the family. Impact on family Spiritually and physically and intellectually not so well. I've missed the interaction with my colleagues; however, I don't miss all those meetings I had to attend. So, I think we both win-win on that one because I think they probably got tired of my being in those meetings. But essentially my life has changed drastically socially. My encounter with the general public is pretty limited, I've become a pretty good short order cook. My son's even learned how to like my hamburgers and my spaghetti. But it's a humbling feeling, and in all due respect, it humbles you to be in a situation where you really have to shift gears and redirect your entire life, something you've done for over 27 years. So it takes a certain amount of adjustment and some support services frankly for the therapeutic perspective. I don't hesitate to speak to my counselor when I need to consult and confide, just for the sake of normalcy and for the reality checks. My wife has been a super, super support system, and I think I owe her support in a lot of ways, but that's what a good wife does, I guess, and after 31 years I suppose maybe I'm a good husband, too. But we've had our trials and tribulations, and certainly it did interrupt my family's lifestyle. My daughter is still suffering from the shock of possibly losing a father, I think it shook her balance more than anybody in the family, and my son is somewhat insecure. Working with him very diligently to help him overcome a lot of fears, to know that the mainstay you could lose at that tender age. And I think at four or five to see me faint or pass out in the house after surgery, sort of leaves a lasting impact on their brains, so it maybe had as much emotional effect adverse effect on my children as it did me. Probably my wife, too. So it's truly a tragedy for the whole family when something like this occurs. Coping with the changes However, I think reading the books, Life Balance immediately after work kind of helps you get focused on what's most important. I did that. And a short novel, --- Ten Things you do When You Know You Have Cancer, so just reading and getting information from the Internet and from other folks who've had this kind of cancer helped me understand a little bit better how to manage it after the fact. I eat the diet, I have to be very cautious about what I eat, always. Little or no spice. Very little meat. Very little meat. And visit to the restroom often during the day, cause I have a situation where they just reconstructed the stomach out of the intestine. My stomach was totally removed, and the spleen and 18 lymph nodes. I'm a walking miracle, actually. And in part it may have had a lot to do with my previous lifestyle that I'm still alive, I'm a former athlete and I usually stayed in pretty good shape, although I was probably overweight, still, it's something that may have helped me recover at a more rapid rate. I certainly know folks who have siblings who have lost children in their early thirties who've got this same kind of stuff, so it certainly is some of the worst cancer you can get, and to survive it is certainly a blessing. And this is my fifth year. Moving on I expect to go back in for follow-up for my last biopsy in the fifth year this year. I'm not looking forward to that, but I certainly have to do that to just be certain nothing has recurred, come back, I should say, and if it has, I'll certainly do the right thing, and that is to probably take treatment. But I was blessed that I did not have to take treatment, my cancer was corrected by surgery. I didn't have to have chemo or radiation, so it's been a harsh learning experiencing. But certainly quite an experience. So in that sense I think the opportunity on the good side the opportunity to sit back and rethink what I can and cannot do and what I'd like to do, has given me an opportunity to create a new world for myself . So I work for myself now and basically real estate investor, and I'm retired, and probably will do some part time work eventually when Social Security gives me the permission to do so. I look forward to getting back out to do some public contact work. I volunteer at my son's school, and I do some volunteer work in the neighborhood and that's certainly enough to keep me satisfied. Not totally satisfied, but somewhat satisfied with giving something back to humanity. I think everyone should do that and I just happen to be in a career that also required that I shoot a lot back to humanity as well as good pay for it, so I miss the educational experience however, working in that environment. My wife is an educator so I do hear about it a lot. The comeback I guess that's essentially about enough said on that topic. At last I guess I would say it's given me greater, having had cancer, and being still in the recovery mode, because you always are, gives me great appreciation of health and just feeling good. And when I feel bad, I take care of it immediately, so I take much better care of myself than I ever have before, and I think I'm pretty much in touch with my emotional self. Mysteriously I certainly do have a greater appreciation for the unknown, in destiny, and these things that just happen to us, so it probably matured me a lot more than I would have been matured, of things for twenty-seven years. So I'm a renewed Lee Brock, I'm a different Lee Brock, but the spirit is truly much better off than it was before. And on that note, I think I'll sign off. It's been great talking to the general public about my experience. I hope some benefits occur as a result of it. Thank you, and have a pleasant day. |
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