Maura's Story: Colon Cancer

Recorded September 29, 2001

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Maura: Discovering Colon Cancer

Hello, my name is Maura and I'm a happy mother of three children. I've been married 17 years to a wonderful husband. My children's ages are 15, 13 and 9. I'm living in the Pittsburgh area and I am a cancer survivor. I was a healthy 39-year-old mom, working out at the gym three to four days a week, on a great diet, and I thought I was in the best shape. One day I had a very, very, little small amount of blood in my stool. After a week or two of that, I called the doctor, and the doctor felt that this was an internal hemorrhoid. He did an exam, gave me some medication. Three to four weeks later, I still had some blood in my stool. So they felt that I would need to have a sigmoidoscopy. The doctors who implemented that scope [thought] that at my age the likelihood of this would be an internal hemorrhoid. Five minutes into the process he looked down at me and said, "Maura, I think we've found something serious here. I'm going to have you come back tomorrow to have your whole colon checked." I pleaded and begged with him to do the examination. He insisted that I needed medication and I said no, do it now, that I would not come back. So the doctor proceeded with the process. It was a little bit painful, but he checked my whole colon. I was very fortunate; there was only one site of cancer. He told me that I would need to see an oncologist and need to see a surgeon immediately. Sitting in his office the following day, I was confused and upset. The following day I had a tragic accident in my family. My brother--who was age 43--was killed, leaving a beautiful wife and six super, great children. I kept my cancer secret during the week. I felt that my family had enough to deal with. We were totally in a state of shock, losing one of the greatest brothers you could have. We buried my brother on a Wednesday. The morning of his funeral, my husband and myself went to the doctor's office at 7:30. The doctor stated he would not do my surgery for two weeks because of the situation that we were dealing with the tragic death. I insisted and pleaded with that doctor to have my surgery on Friday. I told him he had two hours to convince me, and he didn't, so I left his office, knowing I would be seeing him in 48 hours to have my reconstruction. Sadly, after the funeral mass, on the following day, on Thursday, I had to tell each and every one of my family that I would be having a major surgery on Friday. My mother, who I know now is my guardian angel, has been very supportive, very strong. She's taught each and every one of us the greatest gift is our gift of faith. Not only preaching it--you can preach it--but more than that you have to live it. She taught us to be very strong in God and she taught us how to live.

Colon Surgery and Recovery

We had a tough road there. The doctor went in and found the cancer was in just one site. There was a very large tumor; they removed four and a half inches of my colon. They thought I would need a colostomy. I was very blessed not having a colostomy. My surgeon said he had just enough room to work, but I reminded him that that room was a gift from God. Before my surgery, not only did I pray for myself, I prayed to God to guide and to bless the hands of the man who was working on me. I thank God for the doctors and the nurses that helped me and are still helping me.

I spent two and a half weeks in the hospital. Coming home, they told me that there's a possibility that things would not be working like they did before. Basically that the plumbing might not be as accurate and I would have some problems. I've been very fortunate. Everything is almost too normal. There's a few side effects, but they're something you can live with. My children have faced many, many difficult times in my last year. I never realized how strong children are. All three of the children have fought the battles in different ways. I think the hardest lesson they had to learn was to grow up at an early age, to realize that death is something you have to live with and a disease like this is very scary for them to face. But I remind them when they ask me, that yes, everyone will die. Why die of cancer? Nobody knows. God only knows that. But why go on living? Definitely. My youngest had a problem when I first came out. I'd have to use the facilities quite often, and nine out of ten times when I walked out of the bathroom, my son would be sitting on the steps and wondering if I was going to get sick again. I would remind him that everything was okay. Until one day when I came out of the bathroom, I could tell he was crying, and I knelt down next to him and explained to him how lucky he was to have such a strong mom and how lucky we were to have each other. At that point I told him that my cancer was located in my bowel and I explained it in a childish way. I said my bowel is just like a garden hose, and I called it 'Betsy,' and that this garden hose has to learn how to work all over again. So Betsy makes me go into the bathroom more often, and not to worry himself about that. I said, "You know, your mother's very lucky, and so are you. Your mom has a perfect Betsy now, she's a special mom." My son could relate to that and realize that things were working. I could put his worries to rest for the moment. It's kind of a joke we have in the house now. We'll say, "How's my perfect Betsy?" and a couple of other cute one-liners he has for me. Keeping sense of humor with the seriousness of this illness was very important.

I think the hardest hit, though, was my husband. The person who's not fighting cancer; the spouse who's not fighting the battle; it's difficult to stay--there's nothing they can do. He wanted to do so much for me, but he had to let me do it on my own. It was very hard for him. He couldn't take it away. I give him a lot of credit, and my children, for being so supportive.

Stage III Rectal Cancer

I found out after the surgery that I was Stage III rectal cancer. They gave me six months of 5FU [5-fluorouracil] chemo and two and a half months of radiation. I think the treatments themselves were very scary ordeals to go through. It was the unknown. But any time I got fear in my heart, I would just turn to prayer, and that would always give me strength. From the beginning of this, I made peace with my cancer, realizing that my cancer is [a] cross. Everybody receives crosses of different shapes and different sizes. Cancer is a very big cross. So are other illnesses. But if you carry your cross, love for God, He's always helping you. I've never been angry about my cancer. I've never been mad. I've always put it in God's hands. Jesus taught us a lesson when he died on the cross. Too many of us forget that, and they get upset. I never did.

My survivorship, I believe, is based on my faith. I offer all my cancer to Him for my sins and the sins of others. The Lord has blessed me with beautiful understanding. He gives me the will to carry this cross and to fight this cancer battle.

What we have learned from these experiences is unbelievable. This past summer I had two relatives that passed away from cancer and I felt very uncomfortable and upset that they died and I'm still living. It might sound odd for me to say that, but I felt that I was not worthy to live. Why am I living and they are dying? Then I realized that God picks his roses when He needs them in heaven, and apparently my bud, my rose, wasn't ready yet. I do pray for those and all the souls, daily. What I've learned about the experience with cancer is that it's not the end of the world, just the start of a new understanding of your life. I live each and every day as if it were a gift, touching and trying to touch others in a faithful way; maybe a kind smile or a gentle hello. How wonderful our world is. We need to appreciate the beauty in all. I found that my cancer is not only a cross, and this might sound odd, but it's also a gift. Once you've been diagnosed with a terminal illness, you realize all the beautiful things that are around you. Your priorities shift very quickly. During my chemo treatments, I was blessed with a trip to Ireland. I found that two weeks after I came home from my original surgery. I met a beautiful woman in the Pittsburgh area that runs retreats to Ireland, and it was an act of faith that we met one another. She explained to me about a beautiful, faithful woman who visits Ireland. [She] is a "visionarian" who has apparitions of Our Lady and of the saints and of Jesus. She is a devoted woman and has opened a beautiful chapel. I was instructed to go to Ireland on a retreat, and I had the good fortune to pray with [her]. I had a beautiful fortune of being blessed by an ordained priest who works with [her]. I also had the blessing of having mass at Knox Shrine, which is a gorgeous church in Ireland that had apparitions of Our Lady back in the late 1890s. During my week in Ireland, I found such a beautiful inner peace with the cancer and with the realization of my death, knowing that if this was half of what heaven must be like, I was ready to go that day. Jesus has a beautiful way of entering our hearts if we let Him. During that trip to Ireland I was accompanied with my sister-in-law, who was newly widowed. She and I found such peace and happiness with the problems we were dealing with. I kind of feel like it was a consolation prize for the two of us, but it was a remarkable vacation and one that I thank God for.

Another Surgery for a Blocked Colon

When I returned from Ireland, I finished up my treatments in March. I had three weeks of no doctor appointments, no treatments and I felt as if I was high on life. One day I came home to cook dinner for my children and I got sick. I thought I was having a stomach virus, but within two hours I was rushed into the emergency room with abdominal pain. At that point they did not know what to do with me. The pains were worse than any labor pains I ever experienced. I was medicated and two days later they realized there was nothing they could do other than go in. They tried to find out what was involved with my bowel. I had a bowel obstruction. They did not know if it was cancerous. They did not know what there was involved, but I would have to go through the original surgery again. Well, my great disappointment knowing that I'd have to go through the surgery again--they told me this about 6:30 in the morning and I looked at my mom and they said, "You're going to be prepped for the OR within 30 minutes." I asked my mom to do me a big favor and of course she did, and I said, "Mom, you have to please take me down to the chapel in the hospital. I need to go to the tabernacle to pray." My mom is a really wonderful person and she's a retired nurse. She always does everything by the book, and taking the patient off the floor at that hour of the morning, she wasn't real comfortable with it, but she did. I just needed the reassurance in my heart to say one last prayer in front of that tabernacle and ask God for the strength needed for whatever the outcome was going to be and give Him praise.

I was very blessed, knowing after the surgery it was not cancer, it was scar tissue. I spent two and a half weeks in the hospital with that surgery. They would not let me go home until I had a bowel movement to make sure that everything was working. In order to make light of the situation, and it was so boring, time consuming, waiting and waiting, I had a pool. Everyone who came in could guess when I would have a bowel movement, what day it was. The staff and the nurses had a lot of fun with it. We thought it was kind of a funny thing to do. Everyone was thrilled when [I] got to go home because it was such a long wait, and they were just happy to know that I was getting back up on my feet and that everything was working properly and I would not need to have a colostomy.

PET Scan Reveals More Scar Tissue

When I returned home, I was doing very well until July. I will have CT scans done every six months. My follow-up work, blood work, will be every three months. Every six months CT scans, and once a year, the scope. My last CT scan showed that there was an enlarged lymph node near the site of the original cancer. I have a beautiful, kind, loving doctor. My primary physician called me up and said he had personally called my oncologist, discussed the results of my CT scan, and he made an appointment for me the following day. He said, "Maura, we don't know what we're up against. It looks pretty serious. I want you to go and get all your records, take them all to the oncologist." The following day we went to that doctor. He seemed confused about what he read on the CT scan and upset. He said I would need to have a PET scan done, which is a nuclear testing, a new CT scan with extra contrast, and more blood work. He said the insurance company you have probably will not approve your PET scan. The scan itself costs around $3,000. I said, "Just having it done?" [He said,] "If it is cancer, it is not operable. It is located near a main artery. If it's not cancer, great. If it is cancer, we need to move on it STAT."

So with that in mind I went home and I begged and pleaded with the insurance company. They denied me, stating that it was experimental. This particular test has been in effect for fifteen years. I am still appealing their denial, but I did have the test done. Prior to my test my husband and I went on a three-day vacation where I had the good fortune of going to some beautiful shrines in the northeastern area. One in particular, the Divine Mercy shrine, which has a true dedication to Jesus' divine mercy. It has relics there from Sister Faustina, who is a newly canonized saint. We had mass there and confession. We had the opportunity of saying mass at Philadelphia for St. John Newman and also [at] a shrine for St. Katherine Drexel. Then on our way back to Pittsburgh, we stopped at a location called Barto, Pennsylvania, which is a national center for Father Padre Pio that is a beautiful church, a replica of the church that father had in Italy. Father will be canonized a saint, hopefully within the next year. He was a stigmata priest, Franciscan, who has been blessed with miracles here on earth. He interceded for very many people while he was living here. The shrine was built; the proceeds were from a family that had received a miracle who had met Father Padre when he lived here on earth. Father had blessed their daughter who was dying at age two, and she's a beautiful adult at this age. I suggest anyone who has a true devotion to take time to pray in these locations if they have the opportunity. My husband and I found peace with this. It was the first time I saw a true understanding in my husband's eyes of my cancer, the way that I understand it. It was very important for me to let him know that faith is the strongest attribute that he has and he has to use it, that he needs to rely only on his faith, and God's will will be done. If this test comes back as a recurrence, then its God's will, and to accept it. If the test comes back negative, its God's blessing, and to accept it. God's hand is in every aspect of our work.

When we returned to Pittsburgh, I had the test done, and it came back showing that it was not a recurrence at this point, that it was, again, scar tissue.

Today Is a Gift

We have been through a lot as a family. We've experienced a lot of bad times and good times. Through it all, I see my children growing in areas that they never would have reached if it weren't for the difficulties. Once someone told me to remember there's always a rainbow after every storm, and there's so much truth to it. My first day of chemo treatment I remember looking at a memo board in the office, and there was one particular section that caught my eye. Someone had put a note on there that stated: "Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. And today is a gift." I use that a lot with my children and with my husband, to enjoy each gift we have today, to appreciate the history and look forward to the mystery. We have been overwhelmed with support from our family members, church members, neighbors, friends, and it's surprising the people that just come out of nowhere to give you a big hug and to say they are praying for you. It gives you such strength to go on. It's very hard, though, when someone comes up to me and says, "How do you, I'm proud of you, how do you do it?" It's hard for me to say it's me doing it. I just remind them it's not me, its God's will. It's very difficult. I find people thinking that I'm doing it. It's not me, it's God's faith in me and I have to remind them it's a blessing that he gave me. God has plans for all of us. We may not understand why, but you just have to put trust in it and never give up. You need to go on living just one day at a time. Many prayers and blessings to all. I appreciate giving you this time and being able to have this interview. I am on the cancer website. If anyone would like to talk to me, I would be happy to talk to them. God bless you all. Thank you.

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