Talk Shows & Stories
: After
Treatment and Beyond : Adult Survivors of Teen Lymphoma/Leukemia
Adult Survivors of Teen Lymphoma/Leukemia
Recorded April 9, 2002
Welcome and Participant Introductions
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Dr. Harpham:
Hi, and welcome to the American Cancer Society's Cancer Survivors Network.
I'm Dr. Wendy Harpham, your host. Today I will be talking with three women
from across the country who were treated for lymphoma or leukemia in their
teens. As a long-term lymphoma survivor myself, I am pleased to be your
host for today's conversation as we talk about: advocating for yourself in
the medical system when you are a teen with cancer; dealing with residual
health problems related to your cancer and treatment; dealing with the
risks of recurrence and secondary cancers; finding support for the mental
and emotional problems after treatment; staying healthy after surviving
cancer as a young woman; and getting back to normal life after cancer.
Before we open up the discussion, I'd like to briefly introduce our
guests. Our first guest is Vicki, a 32-year-old survivor of Hodgkin's
lymphoma. Vicki is married, has two children ages 7 and 10, and lives in
New Hampshire. Welcome, Vicki.
Vicki:
Thank you.
Dr. Harpham:
Now I understand that in the winter of 1987--you were 18 years old--you
had unusually frequent colds and bouts of strep throat and flu.
Vicki:
Yes.
Dr. Harpham:
Then that following spring you noticed a lump on your neck.
Vicki:
Yes, that's right.
Dr. Harpham:
The doctor treated you with antibiotics thinking it might be an infection,
but the lump didn't shrink.
Vicki:
Right.
Dr. Harpham:
Then you went to a surgeon, but you delayed going. Why was that?
Vicki:
Well, that was my senior year of high school, and I think there was a
combination of things at work. One was I got the speech from my mother
about burning the candle at both ends and I was very busy. I was active
in a lot of extracurricular things, and we thought all the frequent colds
were probably just--
Dr. Harpham:
Just from being run down.
Vicki:
I was run down. Yeah, and when I got the lump and I initially--I was
working in an emergency room, and I had one of the doctors check my neck.
He had said he thought it was an infected lymph node initially, and that's
why they gave me the antibiotics, but then I waited until after
graduation. When it didn't go away, they said I should see a surgeon, and
I waited because I didn't want to have a bandage hanging out of my cap and
gown, and that's just an indication of we really were not expecting the
diagnosis we got.
Dr. Harpham:
So by the time you had the biopsy and you got the diagnosis of Hodgkin's
disease--I understand you were pretty run down and you were experiencing
night sweats and rashes.
Vicki:
Yes. It had progressed significantly. If I had gone right away in April
of that year when I should have, [laughs] probably I might not have had to
have chemotherapy, but in the time that it took me to go, by the time that
we got the diagnosis in July, it had spread to my spleen below my
diaphragm.
Dr. Harpham:
Because of that, you were treated with chemotherapy and radiation.
Vicki:
Right.
Dr. Harpham:
Then after you finished your treatments, you had an exploratory surgery
called a laparotomy?
Vicki:
It was before, actually. That was one of the first things that they did.
Dr. Harpham:
Okay, so they did the laparotomy when they removed your spleen.
Vicki:
Yes.
Dr. Harpham:
And they did, what's called "staged" you. They found out how far the
disease had spread.
Vicki:
Right.
Dr. Harpham:
Then you got chemo and radiation.
Vicki:
Right.
Dr. Harpham:
So from the diagnosis to the end of all your treatments was about a
year.
Vicki:
Right.
Dr. Harpham:
Well, we'll have lots to talk about when we get into the discussion. But
I'm really glad you're part of our group today, Vicki.
Vicki:
Thank you. Me too.
Dr. Harpham:
Our next guest is Leanne, a cancer survivor from Portland. Leanne is
married, 39 years old. Welcome, Leanne.
Leanne:
Hi, Dr. Wendy.
Dr. Harpham:
I understand that in 1977, when you were 15, you discovered a lump near
your collarbone.
Leanne:
Correct.
Dr. Harpham:
And a biopsy showed that it was cancer. It was Hodgkin's lymphoma, and
the treatment consisted of removing your spleen, followed by
radiation.
Leanne:
Right.
Dr. Harpham:
You did well, until just a year later the cancer reappeared in your
lungs.
Leanne:
Right.
Dr. Harpham:
Now was that picked up at a routine check-up or you developed symptoms?
Leanne:
I developed a pretty severe cough that wouldn't go away, but I had had
bronchitis when I was younger, so my mother was--I mean she was concerned
about it, but I think that if I hadn't had bronchitis I would have gone in
a lot earlier.
Dr. Harpham:
So, what they did was they did a lung and a rib biopsy and showed that the
Hodgkin's cancer, the Hodgkin's lymphoma had come back.
Leanne:
Correct.
Dr. Harpham:
Then you had chemotherapy?
Leanne:
Yes.
Dr. Harpham:
And lung and rib surgery. So, then you're 16 and it looks like now you're
done with cancer?
Leanne:
Right.
Dr. Harpham:
Then you did well until when?
Leanne:
Until just before my 35th birthday.
Dr. Harpham:
So almost twenty years?
Leanne:
Right.
Dr. Harpham:
Gosh!
Leanne:
I developed a lump under my arm, which actually didn't get diagnosed for
almost--well it was actually--I was 33 years old when I first noticed it,
and it didn't get diagnosed until almost two years later.
Dr. Harpham:
They removed the lump and they--what was it diagnosed as?
Leanne:
Hodgkin's.
Dr. Harpham:
So you had a recurrence of that same cancer?
Leanne:
Yeah. My doctor said that he thought it was not the same pathology, but I
personally I can't quite understand that. [laughs]
Dr. Harpham:
Was it Hodgkin's, though?
Leanne:
Yeah.
Dr. Harpham:
Okay. And so you were treated with another round of chemotherapy.
Leanne:
Yes.
Dr. Harpham:
And what's been since then with the cancer?
Leanne:
I have been four and a half years cancer-free.
Dr. Harpham:
But you still see an oncologist on a regular basis?
Leanne:
Yes.
Dr. Harpham:
But you have not needed any more treatments?
Leanne:
No.
Dr. Harpham:
I understand you've also had your thyroid removed?
Leanne:
Yes.
Dr. Harpham:
Why did you need that?
Leanne:
I was developing goiters and also it was too up and down to get the
medication regulated. So when I was 30, my doctor advised that I just
have it taken out.
Dr. Harpham:
So you had your thyroid removed, and now you take replacement thyroid
medication?
Leanne:
Yeah.
Dr. Harpham:
Okay. Well, again, we'll have lots to talk about when we get into the
discussion. I'm really glad you joined us today.
Leanne:
Thank you very much.
 Dr.
Harpham:
Our third guest is Ann, a cancer survivor from Kentucky. Ann is 27 years old
and single. Thanks, Ann, for being with us today.
Ann:
Thank you.
Dr. Harpham:
When you were 16, in 1990, you had a menstrual period that just would not
stop--
Ann:
Right. [laughs]
Dr. Harpham:
--and you were bruising easily, you were very tired, you could barely
walk, and the doctors thought you might have lupus, which is an immune
disease.
Ann:
Right.
Dr. Harpham:
But you just continued to have these symptoms, I guess for a year or so,
and you went to your doctor regularly. They just couldn't put their
finger on what it was.
Ann:
Exactly.
Dr. Harpham:
So one day you went to the emergency room, and what happened there?
Ann:
I went to the emergency room and had decided that I am tired of going to
the doctors. If they do not find out what is wrong with me this time,
then that's it. Whatever it is that's wrong with me, that's going to be
it. They did a blood count, a CBC [complete blood count], and it was
186,000, so they knew right away that there was something seriously wrong
with me.
Dr. Harpham:
Right. That's extraordinarily high.
Ann:
Yes. So they did that test. They sent me to my family doctor with those
blood results, and she sent me to a hematologist/oncologist, and they did
a bone marrow biopsy, and the next--this all happened within a few days,
maybe within three days. I had a bone marrow biopsy, and then several
days, perhaps four or five days after that, they admitted me into the
hospital, and it was just extremely quick.
Dr. Harpham:
You were diagnosed with acute myeloid leukemia?
Ann:
That's correct.
Dr. Harpham:
That was in January of '91, and you were just 16, is that right?
Ann:
That's correct.
Dr. Harpham:
Okay. And they treated you with surgery and then chemotherapy and I guess
the surgery was to remove some lesions from your ovaries?
Ann:
Yes.
Dr. Harpham:
Your situation was a little unusual, because although it was your first
time being sick with cancer, it was not your first exposure to illness in
the family, to cancer in the family, because your mom had had cancer.
Can you tell us just a little bit about that?
Ann:
Yes. In the early '80s my mother had not been feeling very well. She
went to the doctor and they found a lemon-sized tumor on her ovary. They
removed it and sent her off with a clean bill of health, and then eight
years later, in 1988, she hadn't been feeling well, and they had done a
CAT scan and found an eggplant-sized tumor that had grown from her ovaries
up, and they weren't very hopeful with her prognosis.
Dr. Harpham:
So, her ovarian cancer had come back?
Ann:
That's correct.
Dr. Harpham:
So she was kind of in and out of treatment, and she was in treatment when
you were diagnosed and you had to do treatment?
Ann:
Correct. She had been undergoing treatment for three years when I was
diagnosed.
Dr. Harpham:
Okay. And then I understand that she was in and out of treatment for many
years after that.
Ann:
Correct. In total, it was 18 years that she struggled with that.
Dr. Harpham:
Okay. Then you lost your mom. Your mom died of cancer in 1998.
Ann:
Right.
Dr. Harpham:
Certainly this experience of having a mom with cancer and then you getting
cancer, it all affected it, and we will talk about that when we get into
our discussion.
Ann:
Okay.
Being a Teenager and Learning to be Your Own Medical Advocate
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Dr. Harpham:
Let's begin our discussion by talking about the need to be your own best
advocate in the medical system. Vicki, can you tell us what role you
played in your health care?
Vicki:
At that time, I probably didn't have as active a role at 18 as I do now in
my ongoing health, simply because I didn't know what resources were
available to me. And at 18, I guess at that point we didn't have a
computer in our home, so Internet wasn't quite as much of a resource as it
would be now. I think I relied a lot on the medical advice from my
doctors and my family's advice also, but as far as advocating--I did some
research. I mean, immediately when I was diagnosed I went to the library,
and this was actually the wrong thing to do because our library here in my
small town didn't have the most accurate medical information.
Dr. Harpham:
So you read some things that were pretty scary!
Vicki:
I did. I read that I probably had a 50/50 survival rate for the kind of
cancer that I had, which was Hodgkin's lymphoma, and that was darn scary
at 18 to read that. It was really devastating, and it kind of--
Dr. Harpham:
--and it was also not accurate.
Vicki:
It was not accurate, and I brought that information, I remember
photocopying the information and bringing it with me to my doctor, and
they gave me more updated information that was from, I believe, from the
National Cancer Institute that was much more positive than what I had
[laughing].
Dr. Harpham:
Right, and one of the first rules of getting information on cancer is
check the publication date.
Vicki:
Right, and I did. I realized even when I looked at it that the book I had
gotten the information from was outdated, but it was still scary to even
imagine that that could possibly be true. It was kind of frightening at
that point.
Dr. Harpham:
And then, what did you do with the information? Did you end up talking to
your doctors?
Vicki:
I did. I brought it to my doctor. I wanted to know because in the very
beginning they didn't give us any information on prognosis. Not right off
and I wanted that. They had said, at that point I had been scheduled for
a splenectomy and laparotomy, and they really wouldn't know what kind of
treatment they would recommend or what was going on until after that was
done. At that point I wasn't willing to accept that. I just needed to
know what, in general terms, I could look forward to, and that was sort of
what prompted me to go to the library in the first place. But I did bring
that to my doctor and, he did say at that point that if I had to choose a
kind of cancer, that was one of the better ones to have because at that
point in time it was more curable. It was just a matter of staging and
finding out at what point in the disease I was. So that was probably some
of the only advocating that I did [laughing] for myself at that point.
Dr. Harpham:
Now, did you play any role in choosing how they evaluated you or choosing
the course of treatment?
Vicki:
I did not, although there was a point [laughs]--I mean, for the most part
I didn't have anything to base it on. At 18 you just don't have the kind
of experience. For me in my situation, I was the only one in my family,
in recent family history, that had had cancer, and now, interestingly,
that's not the case, but at that point I didn't know and my parents didn't
know; it was really a new area for us to be in. And so, whatever--we did
get second opinions to be certain that we were making the right choices,
but we pretty much went with what was recommended, and usually it was
pretty much a consensus.
Dr. Harpham:
How did you advocate for yourself, not only with the big things like
choice of cancer treatment, but with the little things like the
medications you were given to control nausea or help you sleep or putting
an IV in the right arm versus the left arm, that sort of thing? The
little day-to-day things.
Vicki:
Those were choices that I was able to make. I don't remember having any
particular strong preference for any of them, and I think the only time
that I made a strong statement was in between my chemo and my radiation.
After the chemotherapy was done, I had had a chest x-ray to see--I'd had a
stack of tumors in my chest, and my doctors here in New Hampshire thought
that there was so much scar tissue they really couldn't accurately see
through to make sure that all the tumors had gone. They questioned whether
or not I needed to have a second bout of chemotherapy before I had the
radiation. I was 19 at that point, and I put my foot down. [laughs] We
had to go to Boston for a second opinion on that, and I told my parents
the day that we went into Boston that I was not going to have it. If they
recommended a second bout of chemotherapy, I wouldn't have it because I
was very, very sick, and I was so weak I couldn't imagine going through it
again.
Dr. Harpham:
It sounds like you felt you had a choice.
Vicki:
I did.
Dr. Harpham:
You had some control over what treatment you did and did not get.
Vicki:
I did. I did.
Dr. Harpham:
How did the doctors react to your taking an active role?
Vicki:
The doctor I had in Boston did not have the best [laughs] personality, and
I think that sometimes happens. I think he was a good doctor, but he just
told us what it was. I mean, it was lucky for me that the recommendation
he had made was to go forward with the radiation, that he couldn't really
see through it either. He just saw a stack of scar tissue, and it did
obscure them from being able to see clearly whether there was anything
growing, but he thought, based on the amount of time and my staging, that
it was safe to go ahead with the radiation. If he had gone the other way,
it probably wouldn't have been pretty in my house. [laughs]
Dr. Harpham:
Yeah.
Vicki:
Because there was no way that I was going to go through it again, and that
would have been a decision that I would have stood by because I would not
have continued with the chemo at all. I did feel like I had some choices,
but I was trusting a lot of the medical profession to guide me because it
was new territory. Now it would probably be different because, as we gain
life experience we have reasons for [laughing] wanting to do things a
certain way.
Dr. Harpham:
Right, right. I also understand you had an experience with steroid
withdrawal that was very unpleasant.
Vicki:
I did, actually. That was a mistake that our doctor made, and my parents
got involved at that point. I was on really, really heavy doses of
steroids. My white counts, I had problems with them kind of plummeting,
and I had an episode that was probably--it started really gradually, where
I would do two weeks on and two weeks off of the medications and steroids,
and at the end of the second week I was supposed to stop. Well, the way
the doctor had written the prescription was that we were supposed to stop
it cold turkey, and actually we were not supposed to. We were supposed to
taper it down.
Dr. Harpham:
Right.
Vicki:
So I started--I had just severe withdrawal reactions. I woke up the day
after we stopped it cold turkey, and I could barely walk. Just all my
muscles were--I was just in excruciating pain. I couldn't brush my
hair--just lifting my arms. The tops of my feet hurt. And we went
through that twice.
Dr. Harpham:
It affected your mental function, too.
Vicki:
Absolutely.
Dr. Harpham:
You actually had to be hospitalized for hallucinations, was it?
Vicki:
I did. I had hallucinations, and by the third round with the steroids, I
was sleeping probably three or four hours at night. I was up all day, and
it was like I was on speed. I never stopped talking and --
Dr. Harpham:
But the problems resolved once the medications were straightened out.
Vicki:
Exactly.
Dr. Harpham:
My question is, how did this experience, which was very difficult and
frightening affect your role as your own advocate?
Vicki:
That was probably the very beginning of my realizing that I needed--that
we needed to question the doctors sometimes. To that point, we really
depended on them entirely to guide us, and at that point we realized we
needed to ask better questions because we didn't know that we had
incorrect information until they checked my blood levels and everything
was way out of whack, and they realized that I was not taking that
properly. At that point we realized that we needed to second-guess people
sometimes and ask for clarification and get as much information as we
could about the medications I was taking. That was probably the catalyst
[laughs], and it affects me even today with new medications and with any
medical problem. I will ask the same question enough times until I'm
comfortable that I understand what's happening or why I'm taking what I'm
taking.
Dr. Harpham:
Because you have the right to know what you're taking, why you're taking
it, what your choices are--
Vicki:
Absolutely.
Dr. Harpham:
--for treating the condition.
Vicki:
Yeah, and prior to that problem we really were assuming that things
were--I was just having an unusual reaction to the medication. We did not
realize it was actually a communication problem.
Dr. Harpham:
Well, my next question is for Leanne. Vicki learned something about
advocacy from an experience she had as a patient, and sometimes we learn
things, useful things, from survivors who have come before us. Leanne, I
understand you had someone come in and talk with you about his cancer
experience when you were undergoing treatment?
Leanne:
Yes, I did.
Dr. Harpham:
Can you tell us about that and how it helped you?
Leanne:
I was a sophomore; I had just started high school when I was diagnosed, so
I was in the hospital. They had removed my spleen, and there was a senior
and he came in. I didn't know him very well, but he went to school with
my sister, and he just came in and he sat on my bed, and he said, "These
are some of the things the doctors aren't going to tell you." He told me
about the hair loss and some side effects that I would have from the
radiation that they probably wouldn't be--that the doctors wouldn't be
very explicit in telling me, and some things to look forward to. [laughs]
So that I had a heads-up, which was really nice, because they didn't tell
me a lot at the age of 15, and I don't know if they didn't want to scare
me or just that because I was so young. This was 1979, or '77, that they
just didn't really pay much attention to the way that you felt about
things.
Dr. Harpham:
Leanne, did you tell the doctors what you were learning from this other
survivor?
Leanne:
You know, I really don't remember. I don't think I did. I don't remember
having that many conversations with my doctor about those kind of
things.
Dr. Harpham:
How did your talking with this other survivor affect how you advocated for
yourself?
Leanne:
You know, I'm not sure that it did. I think what it did was it made me
not as afraid of what was going to come, only because at least I had an
idea. And I think that when I started to advocate for myself wasn't
really until--I had a similar experience that Vicki did, when they wanted
to do a last radiation, and they did the scan to see that everything was--
the cancer was out of my body. They wanted to do one last radiation for
good measure, and we had to go to Boston. I was living in Maine at the
time, so we went to Boston every day, and I just didn't want to do it. I
decided that I wasn't going to do that last one. My mother was really
great. She said, "Fine. You decide." And at that point I realized I did
have a little power and could make some decisions, and that's when I
started to pay more attention.
Dr. Harpham:
You've had cancer three times.
Leanne:
Yes.
Dr. Harpham:
1977, '78 and '98. Was there any difference in how you advocated for
yourself in these three separate episodes?
Leanne:
I think the second time I was just a little bit more demanding of my
comfort level with certain things. There were times, like the second time
when I was 16, I went through chemotherapy and there were times when I
just couldn't do it. I couldn't do a course, and as much as everybody
says you have to do this today, I finally just would say, "No, I can't."
And you know, took a little bit of that power. But I don't
think-actually, even when I was 35 and went through it again, I was doing
things because my doctor told me to, and I was doing things because my
family, they wanted me to get better. Now I'm in a totally different
place and take care of myself. But I don't think that I ever really took
the power that I could have. And a lot of that was lack of knowledge. I
didn't have a computer. I didn't know where to turn for the information,
and that was that.
Dr. Harpham:
So, information helps you advocate for yourself?
Leanne:
Oh, most definitely!
Dr. Harpham:
Do you think the medical care system changed over those years?
Leanne:
That's one thing I found very disappointing, is that I don't think--it has
not changed that much. I got excellent care, but I didn't get the whole
body, the whole person care. I didn't get the, "Well, you should be
eating this to counteract that. You should be taking this, and you should
be exercising, and you should be--" That kind of care. That never
happened.
Dr. Harpham:
So it was very cancer-focused?
Leanne:
Right, very cancer--
Dr. Harpham:
So where did you go to get information, advice, support for the other
aspects of your health?
Leanne:
Right, do you mean in the follow-up care that I--
Dr. Harpham:
Uh-huh. [Yes.]
Leanne:
For myself?
Dr. Harpham:
Uh-huh. [Yes.]
Leanne:
Well, right now I actually work at a health food store, which has been a
really good source for information, and I also have the Internet now,
which has been really great! I don't know. I wish I had had that a long
time ago, because I think that can be one of your best friends when you're
ill. Also a couple of bookstores like Rainbow Books up in Seattle was a
really good place to go, and they were great.
Dr. Harpham:
I have a question for all three of you. How do you think being a
teenager, as opposed to a full-fledged adult, affected your ability to
advocate for yourself as a patient?
 Ann:
This is Ann. I was completely at the mercy of the doctors with my
experience with my mother being ill. She was under the assumption, and we
were as well, that the doctors were right. And in many cases they were.
I mean, my doctors were wonderful. I would not be here today without
them, but as a 16-year-old they left a lot of things out. They did not
tell me the adverse effects that the chemotherapy would have on me. And
they never discussed with me the long-term effects that the chemotherapy
would have on me. I just feel like that at my age they were telling me
what I needed to know at the time and nothing more and nothing less.
Dr. Harpham:
Ann, why do you think that was?
Ann:
I think in large part it was because my parents permitted it. I don't
think they asked enough questions because, once again, being in the
situation we were in, we trusted the doctors wholeheartedly and did not
question them, and it worked, don't get me wrong, but I think that there
are a lot of things that could have been done differently. I didn't have a
steroid withdrawal, but they had put me on Dilaudid, which is a synthetic
heroin.
Dr. Harpham:
For pain?
Ann:
For pain. I had gone in with an intestinal infection, and they didn't
think that I was going to make it out. So they put me on Dilaudid, and I
was on it for probably seven days, and instead of weaning me off of it or
telling me that this was what I was on, they just sent me home, and I had
no idea what was going on. I had never taken anything except maybe a
Tylenol before, so I had no idea what kind of reaction my body was going
through with the withdrawal. It was awful!
Dr. Harpham:
Were you able to do anything to try to fix this lack of communication?
Ann:
No. That was the last time I was in the hospital, as a matter of fact.
So it was a huge sigh of relief. It's over. I don't have to do that any
more, but it definitely, as an adult, it definitely raises many questions
when I do have even the most insignificant illness that [laughs] I
definitely find out what this medication is, what side effects it has, and
what it's being treated for. Do you understand what I'm saying?
Teen Survivors Dealing with Long-Term Health Problems and Fears
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Dr. Harpham:
And you know, good communication, a trusting relationship with your
doctors is so crucial, not only during the cancer treatment, but
afterward, because as I hope to hear from all three of you, many long-term
survivors have either residual health problems or new problems that
develop long after treatment is completed that is related to having had
cancer or related to the treatment. So this ongoing communication is very
important long-term. Why don't we talk about some of the problems that
can occur after completion of treatment? Vicki?
Vicki:
Yes? Mm-hmm. I'm here. [laughs]
Dr. Harpham:
Can you share with us any problems you've had, medical problems after you
finished your cancer treatment?
Vicki:
Well, it's [laughs] hard to know where to begin, I guess. There are a
number of things. I think the first one, or the one that cropped up first
for me--I finished treatment in 1989, no, 1988, and within a year I
started having a thyroid problem, because most of my tumors were in my
chest and in my neck, so I was radiated kind of diagonally up to the back
of my skull, looking from my chin, so it did damage to my thyroid. I still
continue to take replacement, and I was interested to hear Leanne say that
she had had some ongoing problems with that too because I'm at a point
right now where my thyroid has been, for the last probably three years,
very difficult to control. Every time I have it tested it's something
different, so we're always kind of tweaking the medication, but that was
one of the first things that came up. I'm thinking now that--even today I
have some ongoing issues, and this kind of ties into the communication
with your doctor thing, too.
Dr. Harpham:
Right.
Vicki:
Where I, in the last three years, two years, probably I've been in the
hospital close to a dozen times with kidney stones. Finally, I've been
consulting with a doctor in Boston who called me last week to tell me
that--I'd had some pretty extensive testing done--that they narrowed it
down to being hypercalciuria, which I went right to the Internet and
started looking up things. On the same day that he called me, I placed a
call to my family doctor because I understand that with some thyroid
conditions they can cause kidney stones, and I wanted to go far enough
back to see if that could be the cause of it. We haven't found that out
yet but my doctor was right on it. I mean, I have a very good
relationship with the doctor that I have now, and my general and my family
doctor, and she had said, "Well, let's do some more thyroid testing and
see if there are some other parathyroid issues going on as well."
Dr. Harpham:
Well, Vicki, cancer doctors are experienced and knowledgeable about
medical problems that occur in people who have cancer and people who are
being treated for cancer. Where do you go for information about medical
problems that occur long after you've finished treatment, when you are not
an active cancer patient?
Vicki:
Well, that's interesting. I do a lot of my own research, and I have been
involved with the Cancer Survivors Network for a while. I found it really
comforting to find that there are other people out there who kind of feel
the same way that I do, that the information that you want isn't
necessarily always there, and you have to dig for it. I think we've come
a long, long way from when we were all diagnosed, the three of us today
that we're talking with. The Internet was not available, and even though
I do think that that is one of the greatest places to look for
information, you also have to be careful and make sure that your source is
reliable. Generally if I find something that I think is worthy of noting,
I will bring it to my doctors' attention and discuss it with them, but I
do do some research on the Internet and try to keep up to date. What's
interesting is that as time goes on, and the kind of treatments that we
had, they can look at patients who have lived after their treatments for
so many years and look at the long-term effects, more information becomes
available on that. So it's important to always check back, and I found
out myself, through just my own research, that I was probably at higher
risk than some people for breast cancer as a secondary cancer because I
was radiated through my chest, and I should have been getting mammograms
every other year after I stopped my treatment. It was not until two years
ago until I discovered this and brought it to my doctor and said, "Should
I be checked for this?" [laughs] I'd never had a mammogram at that point,
and he said yeah, indeed I should have been. So I think that as I get
older it's important to me to be my own best advocate, to look into, and
just keep up with general maintenance things, like making sure that I do
get a mammogram if I'm supposed to have one and keeping an eye on what new
information comes out about the risks for long-term cancer survivors and
whatnot. It's been important to me and it gives me peace of mind because
it's one thing that I can control.
Dr. Harpham:
Now, Ann, you were treated in 1991, so it's been over ten years.
Ann:
Yes. Mm-hmm.
Dr. Harpham:
Have you dealt with any medical problems, long-term medical problems
related to your past treatments or your past cancer?
Ann:
It has never been something that has been confirmed by a doctor per se,
but I have a lot of joint problems. While I was undergoing treatment I
had horrible joint pain and bone pain, and it was just something that I
never got over. It also, oddly enough, it affected my appetite. The way I
craved foods, and the things that I eat now are totally different than
what I would have eaten prior to having chemotherapy. It's not anything
that I would have noticed had my mother not gone through it as well. It
was something that our family picked up on instantly, the change in the
diet.
Dr. Harpham:
Where did you go for information about medical problems after completion
of treatment?
Ann:
I looked on the Internet. I read some information about how the
chemotherapy or even just the residual effects of the symptoms of leukemia
can affect you that way. So it was never anything I talked to
specifically about with my doctor. I went for follow-up by a different
doctor. I went to a different school in a different city, so I did
check-ups with someone who didn't even treat me. So it wasn't something I
discussed with him. It was just walking in, checking my blood count,
making sure I was okay, and then, "See you in six months."
Dr. Harpham:
What about you, Leanne? What about medical problems after you finished
treatment?
Leanne:
I still have problems with getting my thyroid levels where they should be,
and so that affects everything from my appetite to my metabolism, that
kind of thing. And then I just recently found out that I have fibrosis in
my lungs, which is scar tissue.
Dr. Harpham:
Uh-huh.
Leanne:
And I've always thought that, I don't have the wind that I used to have,
but I was never told that. So that was kind of enlightening, to recently
find that out, that that's part of the reason that when I get colds it
sticks in my lungs a little bit longer and I get winded easier.
Dr. Harpham:
Does that change how you either prevent colds or deal with colds when you
get them?
Leanne:
Yeah, it does because I take it very seriously. I could be a candidate
for pneumonia and other such things, and so I really try to take all
the--I'm really into the herbs and I'm looking into a raw diet. I've been
starting a raw diet and just all those kinds of things. I try to stay
away from medicine as much as I possibly can.
Dr. Harpham:
We've talked about second cancers, but a near-universal fear of cancer
survivors is fear of recurrence. What do you think makes fear of
recurrence different for teens compared to say middle-aged or elderly
patients who have completed treatment for cancer? Vicki?
Vicki:
Hmm.
Dr. Harpham:
Do you think fear of recurrence is any different when you're a teenager
versus say a 40-year-old or a 60-year-old who has been through cancer
treatment?
Vicki:
I don't know. I mean, I can only speak for myself. I think that the fear
of recurrence is just that, and I don't think it is any easier worrying
about it being a mother with two children than it was worrying about it
when I was, 19 or 20. It's still the same and it's pretty constant. I
mean, it's something that's never too far from your mind, because having
been through it maybe, we know what to expect. I think it's not knowing
where it might come from [laughing] that's more troublesome, but I think a
little bit of fear can be a healthy thing because it motivates you to be
kind of proactive in your health care and to try and take care of
yourself. If it does come back, you want to try and be in the best shape
you can be for dealing with it. But I think that for me, I think that fear
has just always been there and it's never gone away. It's not something
that controls my life in any way, but I think it's healthy to the point
that that's what motivates me to try and take care of things and not let
them drag on. If I do get a cold or if I have something that is a nagging
problem I don't wait.
Dr. Harpham:
Right.
Vicki:
I do address these things immediately.
Dr. Harpham:
Right. So when you feel that fear it motivates you to do something to
help yourself.
Vicki:
Right. Absolutely.
Dr. Harpham:
And of course, fear is not a good thing when it paralyzes you.
Vicki:
Right.
Dr. Harpham:
When it keeps you from doing what you need to do.
Vicki:
Right. Absolutely. And, I mean, I have been--I've had a few minor
breakdowns [laughs] when I've found something that was really alarming.
I found a lump on my rib cage. My daughter was probably 5, and I was
surprised at how I was paralyzed by that. I absolutely--I found it. It
was just glaringly obvious on my chest. Actually, my daughter was
probably younger than that, and until I made an appointment the very next
day to see my doctor, and they did a CAT scan, and I actually have a
displaced rib which has more to do--it was actually a side effect. It was
when they took my spleen out I had a rib that popped out of place from the
clamps they use to kind of pull your rib cage open, and it--I think over
the years [laughs] my underwires have rubbed against it, and it turned
into this giant lumpish-looking thing on my rib cage, but there was a
moment of panic there when I thought, "Oh my gosh! Look at this huge
lump! How come I never noticed it?" Until I was reassured that it was
nothing, it was--
Dr. Harpham:
Very anxiety provoking!
Vicki:
Absolutely.
Dr. Harpham:
Very, very!
Vicki:
I couldn't think of anything else! [laughs]
Dr. Harpham:
And that's because of where you've been, what you've experienced.
Vicki:
Right, and I think that I say to myself, "Okay, I know what to expect.
If it comes back, I'm prepared for it. I'm ready for it." But I don't
think you can ever be. I mean, I think you think you are [laughs], but
it's kind of like being a parent. You think you're ready, and then
reality happens and it's just--it'll be frightening all over again, I'm
sure.
Dr. Harpham:
Right.
Vicki:
If it happens.
Dr. Harpham:
Now Ann, you've been treated once for cancer.
Ann:
That's right.
Dr. Harpham:
But you watched your mom have recurrent cancer and deal with many
recurrences.
Ann:
Actually it never went into remission.
Dr. Harpham:
Well, she had her initial recurrence then.
Ann:
Right, right.
Dr. Harpham:
And then she was in treatment basically for the rest of her life.
Ann:
Yes.
Dr. Harpham:
Tell me how that's affected your own fear of recurrence.
Ann:
It's something that is always on my mind. Whenever I get a chronic cough
or a cold or strep throat, it's something--I hold my breath and go to the
doctor and say, "I know this may be a little neurotic, but could you
please check the blood count and make sure that I'm okay?"
Dr. Harpham:
How do they respond?
Ann:
They're very understanding. My family doctor is wonderful and humors me
whenever I ask him to check my blood counts and my spleen and make sure
that everything's okay. Thank goodness, for eleven years it has been just
fine.
Dr. Harpham:
So getting checked is one thing that helps tame your fear of recurrence.
Is there anything else you do or say, or do you do anything special to try
to stay healthy to help tame your fears?
Ann:
Oh, absolutely.
Dr. Harpham:
Tell us about that.
Ann:
I have a very specific diet. I did a lot of research on how a diet high
in saturated fat can reap cancers, so I make sure that I eat a very
low-fat diet. I eat a lot of cabbage, [laughing] a lot of broccoli, a lot
of raw carrots. I exercise every day. I ride horses competitively. I
walk. I run. I play any kind of sport I can get into and just try to
stay very, very active, and that any time I slow down is a pretty good
indication that there is something wrong, even if it is a cold or strep
throat or whatever it may be.
Dr. Harpham:
So you're very tuned in to your body. You respect when you get signals
that you need to slow down, and you take a lot of steps to keep yourself
physically healthy.
Ann:
Absolutely.
Staying Emotionally and Mentally Healthy
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Dr. Harpham:
What about emotionally and mentally healthy?
Ann:
The cancer is not anything that I've ever talked about publicly really.
So it's always just been something--well, for the majority of my life my
mother was sick. So I just always thought cancer was a part of
everybody's life, and [I] realize that when I tell people I'm a cancer
survivor, they look at me and they cannot believe it because I have long
hair and I'm fit and look a picture of health; it's just hard for them to
imagine that I was ever sick a day in my life. So I think staying active
and whenever anything comes my way that I would like to do, I do it. I
don't make excuses. I don't put things off. I wanted to attend college
and I did, and I wanted to learn how to ride a horse before anything ever
happened to me, and I have.
Dr. Harpham:
Do you think keeping your cancer history private helps you, or looking
back helped you or hurt you?
Ann:
Well, when I told my friends and family that I was going to do this, many
people were very shocked that I had cancer.
Dr. Harpham:
When you told them about the show today?
Ann:
Yes.
Dr. Harpham:
Okay.
Ann:
Many of my friends were shocked that I had cancer. People that I had
worked with, people that I have been friends with, and it's just something
that I never thought as being significant, being a cancer survivor. And
the more I talk to people, the more I realize that perhaps it was pretty
significant, and evidently for my kind of cancer, a lot of people the
majority of the time have bone marrow transplants, and I never had a bone
marrow transplant. I went into remission and luckily stayed in remission.
So, I feel very lucky to have had the course of treatment that I did, and
it has been not as difficult as it could have been, as it obviously was
for my mother. I mean, she had a pretty hard way to go, and mine was
nothing at all like hers.
Dr. Harpham:
Anyone else want to add about that? About how they're keeping themselves
healthy after treatment?
Leanne:
This is Leanne. Again, I'm just really into the supplements and really
into diet. I'm eating very little cooked foods these days, just knowing a
lot about it and doing research in that area because that's--
Dr. Harpham:
And where did you do your research, Leanne?
Leanne:
I did a lot of it on the Internet and a lot of it at the library, and I've
also recently started to make some friends in the raw food community. So
it's a really interesting thing. I think it's something very important
for me because, having gone twenty years--I went twenty years between my
cancers, and so for me the five-year rule means very little. I know that I
need to make sure that my body is getting what it needs to not create the
free radicals and all those things.
Dr. Harpham:
Do you talk with your physicians about what you're doing?
Leanne:
No. Because they don't understand.
Dr. Harpham:
Have you tried?
Leanne:
They don't know anything about it. In fact, I've brought things up.
Have you heard of this or what do you think of that, and they know nothing
about it, so it's kind of useless. So basically I am soon going to go to
a naturopath and see if I can get some help there.
Dr. Harpham:
Now, even if you feel like they are not well versed in what you're doing,
do you keep them informed about what you are doing?
Leanne:
Not really. I mean, I tell them, yeah, that I'm doing alternative things,
and that I'm taking supplements and all of those things, but, for--I just
have felt that for them, that's an aside. It's like pushing drugs and
things like that are what they're taught to do, and so they don't really
understand the impact of the other things that you can do.
Dr. Harpham:
What about your mental and emotional and spiritual health?
Leanne:
You know, I have had a really hard time finding groups, like here in the
Portland area, that I could actually go to. You find that a lot of
survivor groups are--well, they're either for people who have cancer now,
or they're specific like breast cancer and prostate cancer and things like
that. So I haven't found anything really that I felt would be a good fit
for me. But my husband has been very supportive. My family is very
supportive, and that's where I get my support.
Dr. Harpham:
Vicki?
Vicki:
Yes. Just thinking about emotional and spiritual, I am kind of with Ann a
little bit on I didn't talk about my illness for a long time, but for
different reasons, because when it was done I wanted to, [laughs]
immediately after, I wanted to get as much space from what had happened. I
wanted to get on with life and wanted not to think about it at all. And I
also, I didn't talk about it and I didn't think about it at all,
everything that I'd gone through. Basically, when my treatments were done
I closed that chapter and moved on. It's funny how it all comes back to
you. [laughs]
Dr. Harpham:
Tell me.
Vicki:
I took a position with a company, a non-profit medical group, and I was
working in a breast and cervical cancer prevention program, and that
was--I started with them two and a half, three years ago--and that was
probably the first time that I had ever talked about my cancer with anyone
openly. It was really emotional for me. We had a meeting where we were
doing a Relay for Life to support the American Cancer Society's research,
and they asked me if I would be willing to be chair of our group, our
event. So I said, "Sure," not knowing what I was getting myself into. I
ended up having to speak several times publicly about my illness, and I
found I was very emotional when it came to talking about it. That
surprised me because I'm normally a very calm, kind of easy-going person.
It affected me tremendously to have to go back and think about the details
of what I went through and the fact that I had buried that for so long.
Being involved with other cancer survivors and sharing stories has been
incredibly therapeutic, but it has also reminded me that it is important
to really, to think about where you've been and kind of deal with the
emotions that went along with it. You know, going through cancer
treatment is everything. It's humiliating. There are times when it's
embarrassing. There are things that are so out of your control, and it's
very difficult in all kinds of different ways, physically and emotionally.
I think I did myself a disservice perhaps by not really dealing with it
sooner. But the great thing was that once I did, it just opened up a
whole other area for me, to go and be part of those relays and to talk to
other survivors. To find out, whatever you felt, there were people who
felt the same way and who have been through things as difficult, if not
more difficult than what you've been through. I think that's been a great
resource. That was about probably three years ago when I found the Cancer
Survivors Network and other people out there who had the same side effects
and treatments and things.
Dr. Harpham:
You talked about wanting to just like, "close the book," put it behind you
and get back to normal.
Vicki:
Yeah!
Dr. Harpham:
You know a lot of survivors talk about that they can't go back to their
old normal, or they don't want to go back to their old normal. They've
been through this experience. They want to use it to take them to a new
place, and survivors find or they create a new normal that incorporates
the changes brought on by their cancer. So, Vicki, can you tell us about
your new normal?
Vicki:
Absolutely. There was a time when I was going through my treatments when
I didn't know what the future held at all, and I think I had the same
feelings, I can't remember whether it was Leanne or Ann who had said they
wanted to just go on with life, and maybe just move forward. That was the
same thing I felt. I wanted to experience things in life that I hadn't
yet. Whereas the other thing is, I probably--two years after I finished
my treatment I got married, and then a year after that I got pregnant for
my first child. Those are things that I didn't know that I would have
time to do, and so I probably moved up the schedule of what I would
normally have wanted to do. I mean, I knew I wanted to get married and
have children and go to college and all that, but I moved up the schedule
a little bit, [laughs] probably because I didn't know if I would have a
recurrence or--
Dr. Harpham:
So that sense of uncertainty added some urgency?
Vicki:
Definitely to the things that I wanted to do, and so that--and once those
things were done, [laughs] and I had my children and I was married, then I
could kind of sit back and say, "Okay. Well I made it this far. I guess
I can think ahead [laughing] to the next things I would like to
accomplish." I think part of it is an appreciation for every day, too,
because when you don't know what the future holds for your health, you
appreciate opportunities that you have to do things today. That's
certainly how I felt, and that kind of inspires me to do things when I
have an opportunity to do them. So probably my new normal is just taking
advantage and enjoying life and appreciating every day.
Dr. Harpham:
Gratitude.
How Cancer Survivorship Effects Relationships and Family
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Ann:
This is Ann. I do have a question as far as for someone who hasn't had
children yet.
Dr. Harpham:
Right.
Ann:
What kind of fears you all may have had getting pregnant, or did you have
any complications, or--I mean, I always joke with my family that I'm going
to have an eight-headed baby because I had chemotherapy.
Vicki:
This is Vicki. I had the same exact fear, and the joke in my house was a
two-headed baby.
Ann:
[laughs]
Vicki:
But yeah, the same exact fear that you had, and we didn't try to get
pregnant right away. We actually didn't think we would be able to,
because they give you that precaution that the chemotherapy or the
radiation can make you sterile, and you don't know until you try,
essentially.
Ann:
[laughs]
Vicki:
We tried and the first month got pregnant. So that wasn't an issue with
me.
Ann:
[laughs]
Vicki:
[laughs] But it was a fear, and one of the things they had done for me is,
when I had my splenectomy, they actually stitched my ovaries to a ligament
in my hip so they were protected by my hip bone, so if I did have to have
radiation below the diaphragm, which I didn't end up having, but if I had,
it would provide some protection for my ovaries. Luckily it wasn't an
issue, but it was completely a concern. It wasn't so much the second
time, because I knew that I would have a healthy--I knew I could have a
healthy baby, but we went immediately when I found out I was pregnant back
to the oncologist, and said, "What should we be concerned about?"
Medications that might have, you know, have some effect. They basically
gave us the green light and answered all our questions, but I did have the
same fears. You can't help it.
Dr. Harpham:
What about Leanne?
Leanne:
I don't have any children and that's purely by choice.
Dr. Harpham:
Was that a topic of concern?
Leanne:
No, because I've known since I was a teenager that I didn't want any kids,
and my husband has never wanted children either, so that has not been a
concern for me personally.
Ann:
This is Ann. This is also another concern I have. I'm also not married,
and it seems to be something that men I date have an issue with. I was
just curious if that was an issue with getting married, being a cancer
survivor, the chance that it may come back and that kind of thing?
Leanne:
This is Leanne. I just remember like dating because the second time I had
cancer I was 16, and so obviously I didn't have many dates in high school.
People were afraid of me.
Ann:
Right.
Leanne:
And after that I felt like you guys did. I totally distanced myself
because I wanted to be normal. I did not want to be judged on the fact
that I had had cancer or anything like that, so I just didn't talk about
it either, especially in my early teens and my 20's. And then, I guess, I
started to tell people. I just started to tell them flat out. It was
like, "Hey, I'm a cancer survivor. Can you deal with it?" And some came
and some went. I've been with my husband for about 18 years now, and I
just remember clear as day telling him. He had just lost his mother like
two weeks after we met, from cancer, and it was very difficult for him.
We actually kind of broke up for a little while, and we ended up getting
back together and he was okay with it. I think that what you just have to
do is be honest with that person and tell them, "This is what we can
expect." It's actually kind of a good weeding factor, because if they
can't live with you or be with you because of what might happen, then how
are they going to deal with all the other stuff that happens in your
life?
Vicki:
This is Vicki. I agree completely. My situation is a little bit
different, because I married my high school sweetheart, who was with me
through it all--all of the good and bad stuff that happened [laughs]. So
he knew exactly what he was getting into because he was there every step
of the way. I'm amazed that he stayed, [laughing] which shows an
incredible strength and dependability right there. So it was never an
issue for me being able to tell him, and he's very understanding, and he
actually has some of the same fears I do. If something comes up, he wants
me to get it checked, too, and he's actually very encouraging and that's
what you need. You need someone who's going to be understanding and
supportive, and I think Leanne's right. If they can't deal with that,
then there are bigger questions because it's part of who you are.
Dr. Harpham:
And there are resources for getting information and talking to other young
survivors of teen cancer. This is not a unique situation. There are
thousands and thousands of Americans who are young adult survivors of teen
cancer, and connecting with them, such as through the Cancer Survivors
Network, may be an invaluable way for you to sort through what you're
thinking and feeling and worrying about and finding answers with other
people.
Dr. Harpham:
Did anyone else have any other thoughts about dealing with dating or
thinking about starting a family after going through cancer as a teen?
Leanne:
This is Leanne. I think we just have to realize that we are a little bit
different. We've learned a lot of things really quickly, and that we're,
I don't know, I consider myself an exceptional human being, and I just
figured that when the right person came along they'd stick, and that's
what happened.
Dr. Harpham:
In a way that's a good thing--
Leanne:
Mm-hmm.
Dr. Harpham:
--because you know something about him that's very powerful.
Leanne:
Right, and the other part of that is that because he already knew what was
going on with me, when I got sick again, we had been together for quite a
while and he was a great caretaker. Very, you know, he was just was--he
was great! He was there for me every minute. That's what you need.
Dr. Harpham:
Having gone through cancer yourself, I can see it making you more anxious
about the wellbeing of your loved ones, of your friends. You know, if
lightening strikes once, it can strike twice sort of thing. Has being a
survivor of teen cancer affected your concern about the well-being of
others?
Ann:
Yes. For the longest time I thought I was invincible because my mother
and I had kicked cancer for so long. And when she passed away it
certainly made me realize that I was not invincible and that this can
happen to the best of people. It can happen to the worse of people. It
does not discriminate, and to take the very, very best care of yourself
that you can.
Dr. Harpham:
Leanne?
Leanne:
Yes. I worry about everything, especially when it comes to my husband and
my parents and my sisters. So I'm always passing on everything that I've
learned about nutrition and all of that, and I think especially with my
husband. He's my best friend, and if he gets a cough, I worry about it.
He has cancer in his family. I think about those things. I'm always
dragging him into whatever it is that I've found that I think is going to
be the next best thing for us. He's really great with that, but I think
you definitely are a little more fearful about that, about losing your
loved ones.
Dr. Harpham:
What about you, Vicki?
Vicki:
I do feel, I think particularly, and it's interesting, because as my
daughter gets--my daughter is now 11--and as she gets a little bit older
and closer to the age that I was, because I was 18, but as she's getting
older I find that I'm more concerned about little things with her than I
thought I probably would be. It's always in the back of your mind. I
think maybe more so for yourself because you already had it, but you're
always on the lookout for things with people like those nagging coughs and
difficulty. My husband has a bit of sinus issues and ear problems, and I
check for lumps [laughs] under his neck. There are those concerns that you
definitely do look out more for your loved ones because you don't want
them to go through what you did.
Dr. Harpham:
Do you feel like it's a healthy anxiety or do you think it's an unhealthy
anxiety?
Vicki:
I definitely think it's healthy because it makes sure that we are taking
good care of ourselves. I haven't gone rushing to the doctor with
anything silly yet [laughing] with one of my children. Generally they've
had real issues, but I think I'm realistic about things. But it has just
made us proactive in our health care. I am the kind of person that if
something comes up, a medical issue, I'm going to research it thoroughly
and find out the pro's and con's of treating whatever it might be on my
family's behalf because that's just something that I've grown accustomed
to doing.
Dr. Harpham:
When something comes up and you go to the doctor and the doctor reassures
you that your family member is really fine or it's something very benign
and very treatable, are you able to let go of fear of cancer?
Vicki:
Oh, yeah. Absolutely. I am. And again, I think I have escalated
concerns or fear for myself because I think there is really a risk of
secondary cancer, and I try not to be neurotic about my children. So I
tend to--if we go, we have a legitimate concern and they have all been
very good. They all know, the doctors that I work with--I've been in the
same area forever, and I've actually worked for some medical practices
[laughs], so most of the doctors I have very good relationships with and I
can ask them anything. You know, it might seem farfetched to say, "Could
this recurrent problem with, you know, intestinal issue with my child be
related to XYZ or something?" They generally are very good about
explaining to me, and I wouldn't go to them if they weren't because that
kind of goes back to that relationship thing, too. I know it's not the
same as with a potential mate or with someone you're dating, but you have
to have a relationship, I think, with a physician, where you can go in and
throw anything out there and ask for their help. You have to do some of
it on your own, but if they can't be responsive to your concerns, then
they're not helping you. That's my theory.
Dr. Harpham:
It's a team effort.
Vicki:
Absolutely. And it should be, and it's good for everyone. It's good for
the kids that someone is looking out for them, and my husband that I'm
prodding him. [laughs] And it's just good to know.
Surviving Teen Cancer: Silver Linings
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Dr. Harpham:
I'd like to close by talking about silver linings, something good from
something bad. Cancer is bad, but having cancer, dealing with treatment,
that's a challenge nobody wants, but sometimes good things come out of bad
things. Let's talk about what good things can come out of surviving
cancer as a teen. Vicki?
Vicki:
I think I've made different choices because I had that sense of urgency, I
guess, and I'm so pleased that I did. I would not have probably gotten
married as young as I did or have children as young as I did, and those
are some really wonderful silver linings. I also think the one thing, and
something that people have complimented me on, is my outlook oftentimes on
life. I think it comes from that appreciation of every day and of being
able to just not sweat the small stuff because we have seen much worse
things. A few things can go bad in a day, and it's not the end of the
world. I think that sort of--that sense of peace and patience and
appreciation is something that you earn when you've been through what
we've been through. And that I think is a silver lining.
Dr. Harpham:
Ann?
Ann:
I think that it's given me the opportunity to have the courage to do
anything I set my mind to. I think I've done a lot of extraordinary
things in 27 years. I earned two college degrees and put myself through
college, and I'm extremely proud of that. I taught myself how to ride
horses and I've traveled to Russia and Ireland and Germany and places that
I didn't even know existed when I was 16 years old. It just gives you an
insight into things that seem impossible into things that are attainable.
I think that I wouldn't have done the things I have done on my own, for
myself, had I not been through this experience. And I probably wouldn't
have the courage to do a lot of the things that I do now on my own had I
not had this experience.
Dr. Harpham:
Leanne?
Leanne:
I think it's made me a much stronger person, and it's made me stand on my
own two feet and know that my life is under my own control. So I don't
take things for granted like I probably did before. I don't float through
life as much as I might have. I can really listen to other people as well
because I can empathize better, I think. I'm not in my own little
narcissistic world like I find so many other people to be. They've never
had a wake-up call. They don't understand what it means, and so I feel
like I'm also more optimistic and I'm way more adventurous than I probably
ever would have been.
Dr. Harpham:
I hope our discussion has helped sort through some of the issues that may
be part of your life. A big thanks to our guests, Vicki, Leanne and Ann,
for their willingness to share their incredible stories, their thoughts,
feelings, and a part of their lives with us today. I hope that some of
their experiences will help you think about and talk about your own
concerns in healing ways. I encourage you to listen to other discussions
we have available on the website at www.cancer.org, and on the phone by
calling 1-877-333-HOPE. For the American Cancer Society's Cancer
Survivors Network, I'm Dr. Wendy Harpham, wishing each of you a great day,
today and every day.
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