SCHORR:
Hello, and welcome to the American Cancer Society's Cancer Survivors Network, a service created by and for cancer survivors. I'm your discussion leader, Andrew Schorr, in Seattle. I'm joined by our co-host, medical broadcaster Gina Tuttle. Gina, thank you for being with us.

GINA:
It's a pleasure.

SCHORR:
Today's topic: Breast Cancer for Women Under the Age of 35. On the phone with us are four breast cancer survivors from across the country. Women who are all under the age of 35, and have completed treatment. Over the next few minutes, we'll discuss the issues, such as how treatment choices affect sexuality and having a family. Feelings of isolation, even when you have great support. Minimizing the interruption in your life and building your health back up. Encouraging breast self-exams and other diagnostic exams in young women. And how to talk to your kids, as appropriate, about cancer.

Well, let's begin. Gloria is joining us from Riverdale, Georgia. Gloria, I know you're 36 now, and had a mastectomy, chemo, and radiation for breast cancer about five years ago. Right now, Gloria, I know you're married and you have two kids at home. Two boys, I think, ages ten and four months. And you were not married when you had your cancer treatment several years ago. And, Gloria, when you first got married I understand you wanted to have a baby but you were not sure if you could become pregnant because of the chemo. But now you have a four-month-old son. That must have felt like a miracle baby.

GLORIA:
Oh, he is, he is. That's the joy of my life.

SCHORR:
Now, can you tell us about your experiences dealing with that fear and then getting pregnant. I mean, were you counseled that maybe you would not be able to have kids and you should just forget it? Or how did that go?

GLORIA:
Well, actually when I was first diagnosed, I wasn't really thinking about it then because I wasn't dating or married or anything, but after I started my chemo treatments, I was given a choice. There were two different routes I could go. I could take a longer form of chemotherapy, and with that I would have a greater chance of losing my menstrual cycle. And then the shorter form... if I took that, I would definitely lose my hair, but I had a better chance of my menstrual cycle staying.

GINA:
What a choice.

GLORIA:
And I waited. I said, "Hair, menstrual cycle; hair, menstrual cycle." I knew I wanted more children and I figured if my hair fell out I could get a wig, and my hair would grow back. So I took the shorter form, which was stronger, but I took that. Two years later, I met my husband and I wanted to get pregnant. You know, we had tried for a year and I was getting kind of weary. I was bothering my doctor every time I went for an appointment. You know... "I want to have a baby but I don't think it's going to work. I think the chemo may have affected my cells and my eggs." And they said you'll be okay, just be patient. And a year later I conceived and, like I said, he's a miracle. It was a blessing.

SCHORR:
And everything's fine with the baby.

GLORIA:
Oh, yes, he's perfectly normal. He's beautiful, he's a good baby. I have no complaints at all.

GINA:
Let me ask about breast-feeding. Did that come up?

GLORIA:
Well, actually, I decided to breastfeed once I had him. As I said, I did have breast cancer, I had a mastectomy. I also had reconstructive surgery. I breastfed for a week and a half, and some milk started forming in the side where I had the mastectomy, and there was no way to get the milk out and it was rather painful, so I had to stop nursing so that the milk would dry up.

SCHORR:
Now, Gloria, you had a child already, who's now ten. So he was about four or five when you had this diagnosis of breast cancer?

GLORIA:
Yes.

SCHORR:
And so, what about that experience? There will be women listening who go through that who have a young child. How did you cope with that?

GLORIA:
Well, actually I did pretty well, you know. I was a single parent at the time, and my son and I were very close, and I was always honest with him about everything. Some people want to hide things, but kids are very smart and they know. I didn't go into the total detail of it, but I just explained, you know.I told him I had cancer and he didn't really know what it was. I said, well, Mommy's just sick and she has to go to the doctor and get things taken care of. And he's seen the scar and he used to call it Mommy's ouchy. Actually, he was my strength during that time. Because there were times when I was so weak from chemo I couldn't get off the couch, and he would do different things for me. So in my case, it was good for me to be open with him, and he didn't have any problem with it. When I went bald, he had a little bit of a problem with that. You know, it took some getting used to for him. But anything else, he was fine with it.

SCHORR:
Gloria, as a single mom, though, with a young child, what was your support structure to help you through this?

GLORIA:
Actually, I had my son. My father came when I was first diagnosed, and he was there with me through my surgery. He came from New York to stay with me for a little while. He ended up going back to New York, and then my mother came from New York and she stayed during the chemo. I also joined a support group which was very helpful for me. It's a support group that's called Sisters by Choice, and it's just a group of ladies who all have had breast cancer. That's why it's called Sisters by Choice, because, this, it's by choice. It's not by choice that we had the breast cancer, but it's by choice that we want to be sisters and get together on one accord and discuss different things. About what we're going through. And that really helped me, because, you know, your friends and your family may be there. They may try to be as supportive as they can, but if they haven't gone through it, they really don't know everything.

You know, when you go to your support group, you can say, "Well, this is happening." And somebody else will say, "Oh yeah, I went through the same thing." And you can sit and talk and they know exactly what you're talking about. Whereas if you talk to someone... a friend, and you say, "Well I went to chemo treatment today and I feel so sick." Well, they may not understand. They'll feel bad for you, but they can't really say, "Oh, I know what you mean. I went through the same thing." So this support group really helped me. And it helped me to see things before they happened.

GINA:
I'd like to bring into our discussion now Lisa Pullen, from Reading, California. Lisa's 31, she had a lumpectomy, and a partial mastectomy, chemo, and radiation. Your breast cancer was in 1996, is that right?

LISA:
Right.

GINA:
And now you're married, with a 13-year-old son at home. But, like Gloria, you were not married when you went through your treatment.

LISA:
No, in fact, I had just gotten divorced about, oh, two years prior. So yeah, it was just me.

GINA:
And so, your son was nine or so then. And how did you handle it with your son?

LISA:
You know, it went okay. I was living in Portland at the time and he was living in California still, with his dad. It was kind of a good thing that we weren't at that time living together. Just because there were so many things I had to do, with all my appointments and working and being sick and not feeling well and everything. So, when I came down to see him in California, I was feeling good. I had the energy and things like that. So he never really saw me when I was at rock bottom.

GINA:
You know, you seem to have such an incredible attitude. You've said that going through breast cancer treatment was not really that big a deal to you. That it was more than an interruption than anything else. How can that be?

LISA:
Well, I had just graduated from college. I got my very first real job, my first full-time job. I was teaching at a community college up in Portland, and I just didn't have time to take the time off. You know, it's like I had other things I wanted to do. I had my own agenda, and it really was just a nuisance. I think it was good that I had so much that was going on, you know, because I knew that I had to get this and this and that done. But, I didn't have time to stay home and feel sorry for myself. It actually kind of motivated me to say, well, I'm not feeling that hot today, but I can still get other stuff done at home. And it was good, it was okay.

SCHORR:
Lisa, did you feel isolated at all? Being a younger woman, having had breast cancer... that isn't something that's happened to many people at all that you know. That you were somehow damaged goods, or nobody would understand, or you were different, somehow?

LISA:
No. I really didn't. Again, you're just like, well, it's happening to me, and I'm glad I've got really good doctors. I was so glad. I had just gotten my insurance through the school about three months earlier. So I was really grateful for that. And my mom and dad came up and helped me out at the beginning when I needed them. You know, I've had a really great support system that was really, really, truly there for me whenever I needed it.

SCHORR:
Now, a concern of any woman who's had breast cancer is that it could recur or somehow spread. But you sound so positive. Do you think about that at all?

LISA:
I don't. I don't. You know what, I'm on a dragon boat team up in Portland and we were talking about this at our last race in June. I said the majority of us don't think about cancer anymore, and it just kind of struck us all funny. That we've all had cancer, and the reason we are all on this team is because we've had cancer. But we're all positive that we won't get it anymore.

SCHORR:
Wait a minute. Let me see if I understand. This sounds similar to what Gloria was talking about, and that is you choose to be in a group of cancer survivors.

LISA:
Right.

SCHORR:
And these are women who... Is this crew? Is that what you're talking about when you say dragon boat?

LISA:
No. A dragon boat is a big, old... It's like a Chinese war canoe, and it's got the big dragonhead and the big dragon tail. It fits, I believe, 18 people. In our case, it's all women.

SCHORR:
All women who've had breast cancer or various types of cancer?

LISA:
No, just breast cancer.

SCHORR:
And so, although you don't talk about it a lot, does togetherness mean something to you?

LISA:
Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's nice because you know what? I grew up with just brothers. So I've never had any sisters, all the time I was growing up. When I was a kid, when I was in high school, all my friends were the guys. I was always hanging out with the guys and stuff, and this group of women has really, honestly been my first girl thing I've ever been in. Really, it's fun. And they're not sissies.

SCHORR:
It makes it sound almost like the cancer history in each of you is almost coincidental on a day-to-day basis.

LISA:
Yeah, yeah. It's just not a part of my day-to-day life.

SCHORR:
Well, I think that's great.

SCHORR:
Let's bring another member of the discussion in: Melissa, who is in Lawrenceville, Georgia. She was really young when she was diagnosed with breast cancer. Am I right Melissa? You were 18 years old when you were diagnosed and now you're 24. And I know you've had a lumpectomy and you're married but you don't have kids at this point.

MELISSA:
No, no, not yet.

SCHORR:
And so the whole idea of being so young with the diagnosis... For Lisa, you know, it was an interruption in her life. Was that your view of it or what?

MELISSA:
Definitely, definitely. I was an athlete, I was born and raised in Southern California. And I was just like everybody else. I surfed, I ran, I played soccer. And for this to come along... I thought I ate the right foods, drank the right drinks, and it came along and just really snuck up on me. Caught me off guard. And I thought, there's no way. But, it was true. I originally thought I just got elbowed in a soccer match, and I figured, oh, it's just a bruise, it'll go away. And a month later I went for a physical, because you needed one to get into colleges and whatnot, to be on their sports teams. I just had a routine physical, and my family physician noticed it during the breast examination. It was a complete physical. I had not had one in like a year, and so she noticed it and referred me off to another doctor. So that's how they found that.

SCHORR:
Now, what's your view of breast self-exams even in younger women, given your history?

MELISSA:
Well, actually, I lead them. I just graduated from college this past May, and I used to lead them at the health fair. I was allowed to do that with an RN who was by my side. I basically was her aide, but I was able to really get the word out that cancer is out there. It's not just something that happened to the other people. It can happen to anybody. But, you know, it's really important to do breast examinations. I know, I have a younger sister, she's nineteen now. I really wanted to make sure she was caught up on the latest, the proper techniques, and what you're really looking for, and that type of thing.

GINA:
Do you worry about recurrence?

MELISSA:
Honestly, I did when I got married. Right before I got married, I was telling my fianc&#eacute; at the time... I was just so scared, because all this stuff had happened. And then I just had to go back to the philosophy I adopted right when this entire thing was occurring, you know. That it was just my lot in life. The Lord gave me that I'm going to keep going on. And I will. I will pull through.

SCHORR:
Now, I know you kept a sense of humor through this. Tell us about the story of when you went in for surgery.

MELISSA:
Okay. I had a feeling this would come up. It was only about a week or two that I was down in the dumps. Totally, completely caught off guard. And I just thought, honestly, that I was going to die, because I was cancer-illiterate. I had no idea that it was even possible. So, I finally just said enough is enough. I'm just gonna have to make light of this, you know. I'm just gonna have to have a positive attitude. My mother helps with that. So the day of surgery, my anesthesiologist comes, and he's prepping me with all the IVs and I gave him two pairs of ankle crew socks. It's like, "What is this for, Melissa?" I said, "Well, look, I want you to make a little deal with me. While you're in there, taking this thing out, why don't you stuff this in there. And then while you're in there, here's another pair, and stuff it in on the other side, and when I come out, it'll be all even better." So they all thought that was pretty funny. I had to make light of it.

SCHORR:
And has that helped as you've gone on?

MELISSA:
It really has. It really has. My personality is to not be depressed. I like to be very energetic and I like to really just comfort people. And I realized, I was only 18. I realized this is not me, this is transforming me into somebody that is just not who you are. So I really just had to dig deep and find out who I really was. Really just hold on to it, and humor is a big part of it for myself. Speaking with other people, they immediately freak out. But I say, "No, no, no, listen to some of the great positive things that have come out of it."

SCHORR:
Do you think there's been a positive side of this?

MELISSA:
You know you're not immortal; life does have its twists and turns. But the positive for me was that it was that reality check that things can occur. Nothing had gone wrong in my life. I had a perfect childhood, perfect, you know. Everything. My growing up was great, with lots of friends. Then it occurred. So for me it was great. It was a really good reality check, the blinders were taken off of my eyes, saying, "You know you're not going to be around here forever, sweetie." So, it was good.

SCHORR:
How open were you about cancer?

MELISSA:
I personally did not tell anybody. My family knew and that was it. Although I had a good attitude, I was very positive. It was with my family and we kept it... I asked them, it was my personal choice... We had little family meetings up and down and I really just wanted to keep it... because I was embarrassed, I was ashamed.

SCHORR:
Why were you ashamed?

MELISSA:
I think it was just because I looped it in with drug addicts and everything. It's so negative. That's all you hear... people are dying and this is happening. And it's just everything was so negative surrounding the word cancer. You know, you look at it and it's written out in squiggly lines and it was just terrible. So when I was told, nothing positive originally came out of my thoughts. My mother was with me in the room, when I was told, and my face just was blank. It just dropped, because I first off I didn't think he was telling me the truth. It's a cruel joke. But then I just thought, "This is impossible." It was just such a hard hit, when everything was going so wonderful in my life. I was looking to go to college, you know, getting ready to graduate from high school. Everything was just going wonderful, but... It was pretty hard.

GINA:
In retrospect, would you tell other young women not to hold it in and just keep it within the family, but to talk more openly?

MELISSA:
I definitely would. I think, now that I look back on it, it is a big deal, because of what I went through. But I was blessed. I was really lucky, and I think if I would have maybe gotten into a support group... I really felt alone, people would get up and say, this happened to me. I broke my leg. And I'm like, yeah, but you've been through what I've been through. And at that age I did not feel like I could say something. I felt like I was isolated. I felt like I was alone. But as the years went on... I know it's only been six years ago, but as the years have gone by, I don't feel so alone because I've got people that I can talk to. I'm very much more open about it now. But I would definitely tell people, go ahead, get out there, let people know. That doesn't make you any less of a person.

SCHORR:
I want to skip back to the area about your husband and getting engaged and all that. So you were keeping a secret, but at some point you meet a guy, you love him, he loves you, and you say, "By the way, I've had breast cancer." Tell us about that.

MELISSA:
It was very difficult for me because I knew that I trusted him and loved him and vice versa, yet I had this one secret. And I had not told him and it was just... it was hard. Really, I had to just face up that I had not been telling him the whole truth. And I expected him to take it well, which he did. He was great, very supportive, didn't blink an eye, he was wonderful. It was more just me. I was so scared just to say... He was really one of the last people that were close to me who I let in. It was like my little wall, to let him over. And he was wonderful. He jumped over with flying colors.

SCHORR:
Gloria, also, in Georgia... You were dating a guy when you were diagnosed, right?

GLORIA:
Yes.

SCHORR:
And he wasn't so supportive in his actions. Am I right?

GLORIA:
Right.

SCHORR:
What happened?

GLORIA:
Well when I was first diagnosed... Of course, it's something I had never gone through before and he had never gone through it either. So I told him," Well, since we don't know how we're going to react after my surgery, why don't we just separate. And then maybe once everything's over with, we can get back together." And he said "No, I love you, I'm gonna be here, I'm gonna be supportive." And I thought okay, great. I'm gonna have somebody here on my side. Well, I had my surgery Monday. He came to the hospital Friday. Then, I didn't hear from him again until after I was finished with chemotherapy. At that point he proceeded to tell me, "Well, you know I was wrong, I apologize. If you'd like, maybe we could get back together now." And I said, "No, that's okay. I don't need you now, because when I needed you, you weren't there." And that was just my take on it. You know, when I really needed you you weren't there, so at this point, I can't trust you. What if something else happens?

SCHORR:
So what type of man did you end up with?

GLORIA:
Oh, a great one. I mean, he's very understanding. He's very, very understanding and he's a very good man. My situation was a little bit different. I was more open about the breast cancer. Not that I just went out and told everyone I met. But when I did meet someone, you know, depending on the situation... If it was a female and they had concerns about things, I would be open and honest. Because sometimes I found through this that people would listen and sometimes they would check out. Or maybe they would know someone else who was going through it and they would refer that person to me and I could talk to that person. But with my husband, when I met him, we got along very well and we became friends, and during that time I was honest with him and I told him about it. So I didn't hold it too long, because I looked at it this way: I didn't want to invest too much time and then tell him later on and have him say, "Oh well, I don't want to be with you because of that." So I just told him up front, and this way, if he liked me, fine. If he don't, fine. Because whether I have the breast or not, I'm the same person. So that was just the way that I dealt with it and he handled it very well.

GINA:
I'm glad to hear it, Gloria.

GINA:
We have a different scenario for Nancy. She joins us from Philadelphia. Nancy is 34, she had a lumpectomy two years ago, bilateral prophylactic surgery, four cycles of chemo, and radiation. Currently she's a phone buddy to newly diagnosed breast cancer patients, and a published writer, getting her master's degree in writing and English. And Nancy, it's an ironic story to hear what was happening when you found your lump. Explain.

NANCY:
The day I found my lump I had just applied for my marriage license with my fianc&#eacute;, and just on a whim I started feeling my breast and I felt a hard mass. I'm a nurse and I thought... I should have known better and I guess I was in denial... and I thought maybe it's just a cystic mass and, you know, it's nothing. And I went to the other breast and I didn't feel anything like that and I thought, in my mind, maybe I'll see my gynecologist in a month. I'll just put it off... which was a very stupid notion. And I think fear just took over, and the next day I went to a breast surgeon whom I worked with. She was at least suspicious but she didn't want to let on. She did a needle biopsy in the office and three hours later she called me up and told me, "I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but this is cancer." And it was pretty unreal. From the time I found the lump to the time I was diagnosed it was less than 24 hours.

SCHORR:
Did you feel that your dream of a life with your husband-to-be... that was just being stolen away from you?

NANCY:
I really had no idea of what to expect with my future husband, because I was so focused on the cancer thing. You know, I had been in the midst of planning my wedding, and I was unsure whether I had to put that on hold. But the primary focus was: How are we going to treat this? Then I'll deal with the wedding later. But he certainly had plenty of time to get out of it, if that's what he wanted to do.

SCHORR:
How did it work out?

NANCY:
It was great. He was with me all the way pretty much. He just said to me, "Whatever we have to do to get through this, we'll do." And I never feared from that point on that he would walk out.

GINA:
Nancy, you know I think it sounds like something a person who's in love could say, "I'll be there for you." But you've been through a lot, he's been through a lot, and did it really work out that smoothly in terms of your relationship? Maybe it did... I'm not saying it didn't. I'm just wondering what kind of pressure it must have put on it.

NANCY:
Well, the interesting thing was he never complained or expressed his fears to me, and I think his problem was he really didn't have enough outlets. But I never felt afraid that he would just walk out one day and not come back. I never experienced that.

SCHORR:
Now, your wedding was delayed, I imagine, for a little while.

NANCY:
No.

SCHORR:
It was not?

NANCY:
I was diagnosed May 5th of 1997 and we got married August 16th.

SCHORR:
And so then the wedding, I hope, was sort of a celebration of life.

NANCY:
Yeah, it was. It was kind of neat because it was very small but everybody we invited knew what I had been through. I was wearing my mother's old wig from about 20 years ago... one of those funky, mod, straight things. It actually looked pretty decent under the veil, and I decided at the last minute to wear it that morning. I had lost about 15 pounds from the chemotherapy, so I didn't have to worry about losing weight to fit into a dress. I did have to purchase another dress, though, because I got a little bit slimmer. But everything actually worked out very well. It was l05 degrees, and very humid. After about an hour and a half of pictures outside, I had to stop the action, because I was ready to faint. But the pictures... I just wanted to remember the wedding for the event that it was and I didn't want the pictures to scream out cancer. And they actually turned out so well that I was pleased.

SCHORR:
Nancy, you mentioned about your husband, your fianc&#eacute; at the time, that he keeps things inside. For women who have gone through breast cancer, younger women such as yourself, is that something to pay attention to? Not just to focus only on yourself, but if you're in a relationship like that, a husband or fianc&#eacute;, to encourage them to get support that they need?

NANCY:
I think that having a spouse or partner get involved with a support group of some kind, even if it's just a group of friends... someone he or she can talk with... It's just as important as the cancer patient getting involved in a support group. Because they have their needs that need to be met. It's so important to express your fears and just to talk it out with someone else.

GINA:
You talk about that kind of an outlet for him. Your writing has been part of your outlet, is that right? What has it done for you?

NANCY:
Well, my writing started... Initially I kept a journal of my thoughts and my day-to-day activities and everything. Everything I was feeling and thinking. Even just taking walks to the park and maybe passing by a woman who was strolling by with a baby, and thinking, you know, I may never be able to have children after the treatments. It just helped me to express myself. My mother encouraged me to start writing articles and submitting them to magazines and newspapers. I started out kind of on a small scale and I had a stroke of luck or whatever, with a local newspaper. Interestingly enough, I got a letter from the editor of that newspaper, who said that 20 or 30 years earlier he was married to a 31-year-old woman who had breast cancer and passed away. He felt compelled to publish this article that I wrote. So it was almost fortuitous that this all happened and I've been published. I've had about nine or ten pieces published and I'm still trying to crank them out. But I would like to divert from the topic of cancer and, you know, get into other things.

SCHORR:
In the things that you've written about cancer, though, and to our listeners, who all are young women such as yourselves dealing or having dealt with breast cancer, what do you want to say most importantly, Nancy? What would be your key message if you were writing something now?

NANCY:
Well, if it's related to the topic of breast cancer and being a young survivor... that there's a lot of hope and you should never give up. There are support groups and new treatments and, as a young person, there's so many things to look forward to in life. Whether it's getting married or forming a friendship or having children or learning new things and going back to school, or anything. Just seeing the sun rise, you know. There's just a lot to live for and you should never give up.

SCHORR:
Now, you had prophylactic mastectomy?

NANCY:
Correct.

SCHORR:
Did you have reconstruction after that?

NANCY:
I had prophylactic mastectomies this past May, with reconstruction, and I'll be getting phase two of the reconstruction in September. This was all based on my father's sister and my own sister, who developed breast cancer within a year and a half of myself. So we pretty much figured out what was going on. I wanted to get my breasts taken off before I got pregnant, because I was so afraid of the hormone surge with pregnancy. Since we have such a strong family history, I didn't want to have to worry about getting pregnant and getting a recurrence. So I have cut my chances drastically of breast cancer, though I haven't completely eliminated them.

SCHORR:
We were talking with Lisa, earlier, and Lisa, you're an incredibly positive person. Are there any aftereffects you've been experiencing now that you didn't expect with regards to the treatment you had? Or is it just not in your mind anymore, is the way I heard you put it earlier.

LISA:
Pretty much so. The only aftereffect or side effect I have is I have really dry skin on my chest. You know, in the wintertime especially, when your skin dries out a little bit more, I'm just itchy. So I lather up with some lotion in the morning and it usually gets me through, but sometimes I just start scratching. People look at me funny but I can deal with it.

SCHORR:
And Gloria, you had chemo and radiation just like Lisa. Any aftereffects for you?

GLORIA:
No. I haven't had any.

SCHORR:
And Melissa, you said... You used the word "lucky" earlier, and I know you just had a lumpectomy. Is there something then that you're reminded of in any way?

MELISSA:
Oh, yes, I have a scar. I was 18 so I was really nervous about my bathing suit line. I really was worried about it. But my doctor was great. He did what he called "tunnel vision," so yes, I have a scar, and I see it every day.

SCHORR:
But yet it sounds like that doesn't bug you.

MELISSA:
No, no, not at all. It really doesn't. It's actually... it's rather small. I can see it, but it's rather small. I can still wear a bikini if I want to, so it's not a problem.

GINA:
And it doesn't affect you being able to feel sexy.

MELISSA:
Honestly, at first, I thought it would. But then I got right over that very quickly.

SCHORR:
And Nancy, in your new marriage, the whole idea of sexuality... You decided to go ahead, with the family history, with prophylactically having your breasts removed. How did that effect your feeling of sexuality? And, if at all, your relationship with your husband?

NANCY:
Oh, boy. This is no fun. My first priority was survival, not sexuality, even though that's obviously pretty important in a marriage. But I was pretty obsessed with what was going on with my family history. And this was something I made a decision to do. So I discussed it with my husband. If he objected, I would have gone along with it anyway, because it's my body and my life. But he didn't have a problem with it at all. In fact, he very much agreed that I should get it done. Because we knew what we were dealing with, and I don't think it has affected his attraction towards me. If it has, he hasn't ever expressed that. I mean, it's just one more thing we have to deal with.

GINA:
I want to ask Gloria about this, too. Gloria, you had a boyfriend at the time who was not very supportive. You sound like somebody full of life, though. How did it affect your feeling about yourself?

GLORIA:
Well, of course at first it kind of bothers you. But when I really thought about it I just got to a point... What helped me through it was getting to the point where whatever anyone else thinks, doesn't matter. I was okay with myself, it was my body. I love myself, regardless. I knew I was a good person regardless of whether I had the breast or not. And if the person couldn't accept me... oh well, life just went on. And that's the way I got through. With that and every other situation when it came to the breast cancer.

SCHORR:
Now, moving on... With this in your past, do you all feel more outspoken about it or do you just not really talk about it. Lisa, you talked about this crew of women that you are in the dragon boat with, but beyond that, do you talk about it?

LISA:
Yeah. Yeah, I do. I don't usually start out a conversation with it, but a lot of times... It's kind of funny how, even amongst people that you're acquainted with but not really close to, that wouldn't normally know something like that about you... You know, we always get going on things that have happened in our life, and the worst part of our life, the greatest part of our life... For me, having had breast cancer wasn't the worst part of my life. And, you know, usually I say, "And then I had breast cancer, too. Ha, ha, ha. That was kind of a pain in the butt." And they're, like, "What?!" I'm, like, "Oh, yeah. I had cancer, you know, a couple years ago." And this or that, and everybody is just, you know, floored. I don't care, and that's usually the way it comes out, really casually. Sometimes we get more in depth about it, and sometimes it's just a passing remark. Yeah, I'll talk about it. It doesn't bother me at all.

SCHORR:
But, Melissa, you feel the need to be more proactive, like with these health fairs and other things. You really do speak out about it.

MELISSA:
Yes, only because I was caught so off guard, and I know my roommates in college, they had no idea, even what a breast self-exam was. They didn't even know that it was out there. And that just floored me. So, to me that's just one way I can get out and help.

GINA:
Let me ask a little bit more about support, and how each of you, when you needed it, went about finding it. Lisa, you've got this group of women. How did you find a group of women who had breast cancer?

LISA:
Well, I did the "Race for the Cure," with the Komen Foundation up in Portland. There's a little box on the registration form where it says, "Are you a breast cancer survivor?" So I check the little box. Then about a month after the race, everybody that had checked that box got letters in the mail asking if they were interested in forming a dragon boat team. I sent mine right in because I'd always wanted to do that, but it was just too spendy for me. You know, to actually sign up with a team and pay all my dues and everything. So Komen sponsored us and really, I didn't care that they were all survivors. I just wanted to do the dragon boating. So it was kind of coincidental but that's how I found them, or actually they found me. But I didn't really take advantage of any of the... You know how you can call the cancer society and they can have people come to your house and they can have people call you and things like that? I didn't feel like I needed it. I had enough people around me that were giving me what I needed, you know. And my doctors were giving me the information that I needed, and I found all kinds of stuff on the Internet and in books and things. As far as an organized support system, I just didn't go that route.

SCHORR:
But you did search the Internet and other places for information.

LISA:
Oh, yes, that's entirely the first thing I did when I found the lump, you know. It was April 15. I said, "Hey, that's not a good date!" But, I found the lump, so I got on the Internet and kind of checked things out that way. Then went into the doctor's the next day, and went in for a mammogram the next day. It progressed rather quickly after that. I think what was good for me was that I knew where to access the information.

SCHORR:
Now, Nancy, you said that you're a nurse?

NANCY:
Right.

SCHORR:
So, being a nurse, did that make it easier for you to go get information, or did you feel like you were supposed to know it all? And beyond information, what about getting support? How'd you do it?

NANCY:
Well, to answer the first question, I think I felt a combination of a bunch of other things. Like, I'm a nurse, I should know about cancer. I really didn't know much at all about cancer, except what I had seen. I work in the operating room. So I started going to a weekly support group.

SCHORR:
Did this also have some younger women?

NANCY:
The ages varied, but my group wasn't just breast cancer, it was Hodgkins lymphoma, lung cancer... and people were all different ages. I felt that it would have been a little more helpful if I had been with young survivors. And there is a young survivors group affiliated with a group called Living Beyond Breast Cancer. There's also a book written by a radiation oncologist. So I've been involved with that. There are women under 40 who have had breast cancer.

SCHORR:
So, since the time of diagnosis, eventually you were able to find your way to a group like that.

NANCY:
Right.

SCHORR:
And that would be something that you'd recommend for women listening? To try to find a younger group? Or on the Internet, I imagine, there may be groups like that, too. Discussion groups among younger women.

NANCY:
I think whatever you feel would meet your needs best. You know, I mean some people would be fine in the support group that I had originally had gone to. But I thought because there's so many age-related issues like fertility and sexuality that you would feel more comfortable talking to people you know. People who were your age going through very similar things.

SCHORR:
Melissa, by talking about it yourself, has that connected you with other younger women?

MELISSA:
Definitely. Since I was only 18, I really didn't want to be in a support group, because everybody was over the age of 40, and I felt so out of place. So that's why I had decided, basically, to just turn around and try to help others, and that became my support. In a way I was supporting them, although it looks like an oxymoron. It's ironic the way it all worked out. But it just connected me to people, talking about precautionary measures. At least in that way, people my age have been able to meet a few people. For me, through a church setting. So many of the young women that have had breast cancer under the age of 40 feel like it was just being mentioned.

SCHORR:
And that's been helpful?

MELISSA:
I think so. Definitely. It just kind of gives you a chance... Once a month is when we meet, just once a month. It just kind of gives you a chance to see how everybody's doing. It's just that type of thing. To keep you going, to keep trying to find all the positives. What's going on, you know. If anybody's struggling with anything, people can talk about it. So that kind of helped me out a little bit. And at the time, I didn't need that. That's why I felt like I needed to help other people.

SCHORR:
We're gonna wrap up in just a second, but I just had a quick poll. I think I know some of the answers as far as how you feel about your hopes and your expectations for the future. Lisa, I think you probably feel like your future is extremely bright.

LISA:
Right. Yeah. You know, I'm three years out. I've had really no problems since then. We just got married in December.

SCHORR:
And you're gonna keep paddling that boat.

LISA:
Yeah.

SCHORR:
And Gloria, how about you? What's your outlook for the future now?

GLORIA:
I think it looks great. I'm not gonna let anything hold me back.

GINA:
And you've got that 4-month-old baby. Congratulations.

GLORIA:
Yes, I do. Thank you so much.

SCHORR:
And Melissa, what about you? Your view of the future?

MELISSA:
It's so bright I gotta wear shades.

SCHORR:
And Nancy, do you feel that positive?

NANCY:
Yeah, I do, I do. I mean, I have school to look forward to and my husband's going to be in school. This is just the means to a very bright end.

SCHORR:
Thank you so much for these last many minutes of sharing some really personal, but very insightful, stories for all of us. I know it helps all the women who are listening. With that comment we will have to close our very rewarding discussion. Thanks to each of you who've shared as you have and thanks to my co-host, Gina Tuttle.

GINA:
It's been a privilege, Andrew.

SCHORR:
Thank you, Gina. For the American Cancer Society's Cancer Survivors Network, and from our Healthtalk Interactive Studio in Seattle, I'm Andrew Schorr.